The Platonic Road Fork – Part I

It’s been a while since I’ve shared one of my theories with you all, so  I’m more than happy to share the newest installment of the Genius Theories. As with every Genius Theory, I gotta give you the background first.

The Background

This story starts off with a friend whom we will call Lyle, because it sounds funny. During a water break at the gym, my friend Lyle began to retell his Valentine’s Day disaster story from this passed month. Two months back, at a friend’s party, Lyle met a very very attractive Pretty Lady. Lyle and Pretty Lady struck up a conversation and seemed to hit it off, eventually exchanging phone numbers. Thus began a long string of hour-and-a-half long phone conversations.

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The Platonic Road Fork – Part II

…continued from: The Platonic Road Fork – Part I

Before I started explaining the situation to my friend, I paused. Just to make sure I wasn’t jumping the gun, I asked a few questions first because Lyle’s story sounded like there was much that he conveniently left out. I asked him a few questions and these are some of the things I uncovered:

• Since the very beginning of the relationship, Lyle speaks with her a few times a day, just about everyday.
• Lyle has thrice taken Pretty Lady out on extravagant dinners and outings.
• Every time Lyle makes a flirtatious comment to Pretty Lady, she tells him to stop or that it makes her uncomfortable.
• Lyle buys Pretty Lady “Just Because” presents for no reason such as appliances, home decor, etc.
• Lyle gets jealous when he’s around guys that she is dating or brings them up in conversation.
• Pretty Lady could care less who Lyle dates and sometimes encourages him in his relationships.

The truth is that Lyle has no chance. Like none. But what is worse is that he’s doing everything wrong.

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Unacceptable

One man’s trash…

Recently came across this Stevie Wonder throwaway clip from 1974 thanks to ?uestlove. He may not blog that often, but he definitely makes up for it with the quality rather than quantity. Now, the cautionary tone in his words were straight out of The Ring. “If you listen to this, you will die!” Ok, ok, really it was more like “…you will not stop listening to this… for seven days!” Read more

Silly Little Girls…

Ladies, sisters, women, my children….please please please stop trying to holler at my brothers when you’re married or in a relationship. I don’t know HOW MANY times I’ve encountered women who fit into either of those categories and have told me how they secretly desired to sleep with lets just say, person x.

You’re married! You’re in a relationship. Now, I’m not going to generalize and say that the word fidelity nowadays in the U.S. is a pastime or anything, because it isn’t. But according to NationMaster, the U.S. has the highest divorce rate in the world. That has to mean something…although according to the U.S. Census Bureau divorce rate numbers had been on a steady decline lately. Notwithstanding, women staying/living in this country need to get their priorities straight. For god’s sake, even the concierge lady at my job had a huge grin on her face as she filled out her divorce papers today. That shit ain’t supposed to be funny last time I checked. Read more