I Never Call Back…Like EVER

A few days ago, a friend of mine pointed out a bad habit I have. I never call girls back once they give me their number. Apparently, she and some of my other female friends consider this kind of behaviour enough to merit me the title “Worst person in the world”. I am fully aware that this pisses some people off, yet I keep doing it (unintentionally). Why would you work so hard to charm a lady, and then act as if you were uninterested after you’ve obtained her contact information?

The truth of the matter is that I personally want to continue to get to know these said individuals but for several reasons, I continue to put off calling them until, of course, too much time passes and I’m like “forget it”. I spoke to one of my male friends and he too had the same bad habit of not calling girls back. I conducted a mini-survey and apparently this is a problem that about 1 out of every 3 guys is guilty of at some point  (some more habitual than others). In my research, many of the guys could not pinpoint the exact reason why they don’t call back someone who they’re actually interested in, but here are the most common rationalizations:

• “I keep remembering to call too late” - This, I admit, is my main problem. My schedule with time usually peaks activity in the wee hours of the night, a time in which most sane individuals are asleep. By the time I “remember” to give pretty lady a phone call, she’s probably already in bed or getting ready to go. “I’ll call her tomorrow” is what I usually say. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Fail.
• “I don’t wanna like lead her on or something” - Cuz I’m not tryina be nobody’s boyfriend. This is a funny excuse. A lot of times guys think that the world revolves around them and that just because a girl seems interested in you, that means she wants to marry you. On the opposite side of my research, many of the girls I talked to said that sometimes when she gives her number to a guy, sometimes it just means that they think that guy is interesting, funny, or just cool. It doesn’t always mean that she wants to pursue a physical or emotional relationship. When we sometimes jump the gun, I think in a way we kinda trivialize the mental of the female gender, and that’s not exactly playing nice.
• “If I don’t try, I won’t get rejected” - The excuse guys are usually reluctant to admit. Among the men interviewed, a significant amount of them stated that they somehow felt that being able to charm the girl at the initial meeting was lucky or that they set such a high standard for themselves. When it’s time to call her back, he gets scared that he may not be able to live up to what she expects (or what he thinks she expects) either because he’s too much of a punkass, or because she intimidates him, or both.
• “I’m not a phone person, but I’ll text her to oblivion” - This is me too (kinda). I don’t like selling myself over the phone. And this is not just with dating, this is with everything. I can charm the hell outta an interviewer in person, but my phone presence during phone interviews is extra whack. I’m apparently not alone. Many guys don’t like talking on the phone. As men, when we call each other, it’s very procedural and with a clear and finite purpose. Ex) “Hey! What time are we gonna meet up?” “I dunno? Eight?”, “Ok, I’ll call when I’m downstairs”, “Make sure you come the back way”, “Aight”, “Yeh” End of Call. Calling someone we don’t really know to talk about nothing doesn’t seem to make sense when that person hasn’t given us much reason yet to talk to them. But texting! Procedural and straight to the point with a clear and finite purpose. Guys’ phone conversations with each other align perfectly with a typical text message convo. The downside is, when a guy usually only asks a girl straight forward questions about “where are you?” “do you wanna hang out/come over?”, this can be easily misinterpreted. More than half the females interviewed said that when a guy is only texting about meeting and not asking how there day is or questions like that, that can be seen as him just wanting to get laid when this very well may not be the case.

Let me make this 100% clear. All these excuses are bullshit and there probably is no good reason as to why a good third of us guys do this, only 1/2 ass rationalizations for irrational actions. What’s even worse is when we are talking to females and everything’s going good and then suddenly just….stop. But tha’s probably a whole new topic and question for another time. What is it about the male psyche that makes us act this way?

Males are supposedly the more logic-oriented sex, whereas women are more intuition-oriented in there decision making processes. After all the interviews, I’m still perplexed as to why we do this. Why do we sometimes not call her if we are actually interested? Is there an actual reason that we’ve missed?

Gotta figure this one out, until then…guess I’m still the worst person on the planet.

Speak….

You Needa Make More Money Than Me

Call me ole’ fashion but. . . I’d rather that you’d make more money. Does that make me a bad person? Should I not say this out loud? This is ideally in the most ideal sense. You, the man, make more money so I, the woman, won’t have to feel obligated to work [so hard or more than four days out of the week]. But considering that in a few short years, I will be making a nice chunk of change, this really limits my options. And is this wrong? In the practical sense, hell-to-the-yeah. Read more

He’ll Regret it…

. . . but then again maybe he won’t. That is something that I keep to myself, every time, so countless it is disturbing, I am out with my girlfriends over dinner or on the phone with one of them, and a story is being retold about the end of the affair. Read more

Chivalry is NOT Dead…

…but that mofo sure is on life support!

Raised a southern gentleman by a single mother, i pride myself on knowing how to treat a lady. In someways it serves as an IQ test, like how long can you go before you f-up. (Grand prize… grandkids.) Even beyond that though, proper manners with the fairer sex generally puts you in a whole new level of manhood. It is part of being a man (rather than claiming you are one). Knowing and doing sometimes differ but that of course depends on the time, place and most likely the lady (if she can so be called).

Part of that however includes the decreasingly common act of chivalry. Currently most notable when a man will open the door for a lady, pull out a chair (for a girlfriend), walk on the street side of the curb (if somehow abandoned by his car). Personally, I do all of the above but still draw the occasional salty reaction for it. Seriously, though? Is it that crucial? Read more