I Don’t Like Your Girlfriend, So What?

Typically, I’m pretty honest and straightforward with my friends when they ask me questions involving my opinion. I mean, they’re my friends and they’re asking to hear my thoughts, so why not give it to them? Recently, a buddy of mine asked me what I thought about his girlfriend.  In this particular relationship, I personally don’t believe that my friend and his girlfriend are a good match for each other. They fight, they argue,  and they spend more time “working” on their relationship than actually having one.  Despite all of these things, I believe that on a personal level, that the two of them are holding each other back and would be happier with other people.

Now admittedly, I’m generally a tough critic when it comes my opinion of my friends’ partners, but my friend wasn’t asking me about my opinion of the status of his relationship. He was asking me about what I thought of his girlfriend on personal level. This question for me is easy. I either like someone, can’t stand them, or don’t like them.

So without much hesitation, I told my friend I didn’t like her. At first, he didn’t respond. He just sat there with a puzzled look on his face and I could tell what he was thinking. He opened his mouth and said,

“How do you NOT like her but you talk to her all the time and smile when you see her? That’s fake man? Why don’t you like her!?”

I could tell that he was actually hurt by the lack of kinship between me and his girlfriend, so I reassured him that his girlfriend didn’t do anything to me at all, and just because I didn’t like her, doesn’t mean I hate her.  Nevertheless, over the next few months, my friend constantly tried to get me to “give her a chance” and setup awkward situations that put me and her together in the same place or room alone to try to promote a bond between the two of us. Such forceful and artificial fellowship is actually a turnoff and is more likely to generate a more negative response than there already is. And still, I fail to understand why we simply cannot “not be friends”.

As far as “acting fake” goes, I don’t believe that’s true. When you say that you don’t like someone, it’s one of those statements that doesn’t really sound good no matter how you phrase it. In actuality, it is not as bad as it sounds. I can still think someone is a good person, but if I have no draw to them, then there is no chemistry or connection. If that is true, then I don’t like them. I don’t hate them, I’m just not their biggest fan. I’m indifferent.

I don’t understand why people feel the need to have their boyfriend/girlfriend and their friends, be friends. I personally prefer to keep them separate.  I’d prefer if my girlfriend didn’t hang out with my friends without me being there. I personally believe that it’s easier to keep those two worlds separated and that things get messy when the two worlds collide. But I understand how many people wouldn’t mind that their friends and their partner get along, but is it a problem if they don’t?

I have a friend. He has a girlfriend. Why should he think that just because I see his girlfriend often and share space with her minutes at a time, that we have to be friends?

Maybe I’m just unfriendly. Or maybe she sucks. I dunno.

Discuss…

Getting by this Valentine’s Season

It’s the eleventh hour, and yes you forgot to buy her something. This post is being written on February 13th. I would have wrote it earlier but just like you, I forgot. No worries. But despite having at least a good 18 something hours to get something remotely meaningful, you’re not going to. And why? Who cares? She doesn’t. And because of that, you’re gonna have to hear this brought up for the next “who the hell knows”, that or she’ll just give you the whole guilt trip. Read more

Dear Ex-Girlfriend: You Can Do Better

Dear Ex-Girlfriend,

::sigh::

You can do better. I was trying to think of a more gentle way to say it but I don’t have to, I’m not your man. Granted, enough time has passed that I am in no way upset that you are seeing someone new (nor is it my place to be so). Honestly, I’m just happy that you aren’t dwelling on the past. It’s not good for you. But then again, neither is your new dude. Read more

The Interview Process

Let me first say that I’m getting really tired of the fact that every time I talk to one of my very good girlfriends, the conversation seems to always stray off into why no one wants them, or how they’re lonely, or how these guys are ___________.

No one’s provided me w/ any information as to why this is, and although there are theories, nothing concrete. As a result, I have to just assume that when you’re a female and 22-25 yrs old, your own personal worth is determined by the success (or lack) of your significant other, and if you’re one of those hags unlucky enough to NOT have a man, then you might as well just sew it up now and join a convent. Read more

Sorry, But Your Gal’s a D.A.

There’s a serious discrepency that exist between the way several men view their relationships and how they really exist. Ask any one of your friends in a serious relationship, “Why do you like your girl?” and chances are like 9 times out of 10 they’re gonna give you a litany of “Because she’s_______” comments. Typically, this laundry list usually includes the fact that “She’s smart“. And that’s where my problem starts…

I was talking to my this one fellow I know about his girlfriend, who obviously DOES NOT like him. She, however, won’t break up w/ this dude for security purposes and he is under some magical impression that they’re the perfect match. Now I know that some of you may be thinking I’m just hating right now but I assure you that’s not the case. This dude is not my friend, just a guy i know and speak to often, so I’m speaking from a totally unbiased angle….but I digress. Read more