I Don’t Like Your Girlfriend, So What?

Typically, I’m pretty honest and straightforward with my friends when they ask me questions involving my opinion. I mean, they’re my friends and they’re asking to hear my thoughts, so why not give it to them? Recently, a buddy of mine asked me what I thought about his girlfriend.  In this particular relationship, I personally don’t believe that my friend and his girlfriend are a good match for each other. They fight, they argue,  and they spend more time “working” on their relationship than actually having one.  Despite all of these things, I believe that on a personal level, that the two of them are holding each other back and would be happier with other people.

Now admittedly, I’m generally a tough critic when it comes my opinion of my friends’ partners, but my friend wasn’t asking me about my opinion of the status of his relationship. He was asking me about what I thought of his girlfriend on personal level. This question for me is easy. I either like someone, can’t stand them, or don’t like them.

So without much hesitation, I told my friend I didn’t like her. At first, he didn’t respond. He just sat there with a puzzled look on his face and I could tell what he was thinking. He opened his mouth and said,

“How do you NOT like her but you talk to her all the time and smile when you see her? That’s fake man? Why don’t you like her!?”

I could tell that he was actually hurt by the lack of kinship between me and his girlfriend, so I reassured him that his girlfriend didn’t do anything to me at all, and just because I didn’t like her, doesn’t mean I hate her.  Nevertheless, over the next few months, my friend constantly tried to get me to “give her a chance” and setup awkward situations that put me and her together in the same place or room alone to try to promote a bond between the two of us. Such forceful and artificial fellowship is actually a turnoff and is more likely to generate a more negative response than there already is. And still, I fail to understand why we simply cannot “not be friends”.

As far as “acting fake” goes, I don’t believe that’s true. When you say that you don’t like someone, it’s one of those statements that doesn’t really sound good no matter how you phrase it. In actuality, it is not as bad as it sounds. I can still think someone is a good person, but if I have no draw to them, then there is no chemistry or connection. If that is true, then I don’t like them. I don’t hate them, I’m just not their biggest fan. I’m indifferent.

I don’t understand why people feel the need to have their boyfriend/girlfriend and their friends, be friends. I personally prefer to keep them separate.  I’d prefer if my girlfriend didn’t hang out with my friends without me being there. I personally believe that it’s easier to keep those two worlds separated and that things get messy when the two worlds collide. But I understand how many people wouldn’t mind that their friends and their partner get along, but is it a problem if they don’t?

I have a friend. He has a girlfriend. Why should he think that just because I see his girlfriend often and share space with her minutes at a time, that we have to be friends?

Maybe I’m just unfriendly. Or maybe she sucks. I dunno.

Discuss…

The Interview Process

Let me first say that I’m getting really tired of the fact that every time I talk to one of my very good girlfriends, the conversation seems to always stray off into why no one wants them, or how they’re lonely, or how these guys are ___________.

No one’s provided me w/ any information as to why this is, and although there are theories, nothing concrete. As a result, I have to just assume that when you’re a female and 22-25 yrs old, your own personal worth is determined by the success (or lack) of your significant other, and if you’re one of those hags unlucky enough to NOT have a man, then you might as well just sew it up now and join a convent. Read more