The Theory

In an ideal world, women and men (same-sex relationships too) will have equal power and stake in a relationship. At some point, we’ve all approached (long-term) relationships w/ the goal of achieving that, well most of us anyway. I know some of you say “I know ____ and _____ have a 50/50 relationship”! That’s only cuz the mental tug of war only appears 50/50 at that snapshot in time. In other words, 50/50, cannot sustain itself for long periods of time. When we say 50/50, we mean just that. 50% of everything in the relationship is controlled and owned by each partner. This includes equal share in decision-making, equal share in savings contribution, checking accounts, etc, thus making the partners absolute equals. This is where everything goes to the shits.

The whole 50/50 relationship myth is based on the premise that man and woman can be equals when in fact, this is cannot happen as men and women are not equal. Before I get pounced on ladies, take a deep breath, and if you need to, go get a drink from the fridge and get comfortable before you read on. This post is intended to educate, not devalue. First of all, I said Men ≠  Women not Men > Women. Besides all the obvious intellectual, physical, hormonal, and reproductive differences between the two, we all know that relationships are about mental strategy. Even for couples who are happily married and get along great have some level of mind games being played.

I’m one of those brothers that have little to no tolerance for those stupid games people play. I’m not going to scientifically calculate who’s gonna call who first, make someone guess how I’m feeling, or act one way when I really want the opposite. However, the mental tug-of-war I speak of exists in other unavoidable forms. For instance, if/when I screw up, I know that she’s going to let that hang over my head for the longest and I’m going to have to forfeit many-a-argument because she could (and most likely will) pull that cat outta the bag. I also know, if I wait long enough, she’ll screw up too and the tables will turn.

But it’s not just things like that in relationships that weigh them. Ladies, if you’re still listening take note. If your man makes less money than you, he is not and will never ever be cool with that. Money = Power (unfortunately). So if you control the lion’s share of this, your relationship is not 50/50 because you are not starting off on the same playing field. This is why when average brothers date rich girls, it never works.

I could go on and on about this, but I don’t want to talk this point to death. The bottom line is:

We live in a world striving so diligently for equality amongst the sexes. Yet at the same time, it is widely agreed upon by both male and female athletes that professional sports should stay separated. If athletes can understand there are stark differences between sexes, and intergender partnerships, why can’t we just say men and women are not and cannot be equals in a relationship and just move on?

Discuss…