The truth of the matter is that I personally want to continue to get to know these said individuals but for several reasons, I continue to put off calling them until, of course, too much time passes and I’m like “forget it”. I spoke to one of my male friends and he too had the same bad habit of not calling girls back. I conducted a mini-survey and apparently this is a problem that about 1 out of every 3 guys is guilty of at some point  (some more habitual than others). In my research, many of the guys could not pinpoint the exact reason why they don’t call back someone who they’re actually interested in, but here are the most common rationalizations:

• “I keep remembering to call too late” - This, I admit, is my main problem. My schedule with time usually peaks activity in the wee hours of the night, a time in which most sane individuals are asleep. By the time I “remember” to give pretty lady a phone call, she’s probably already in bed or getting ready to go. “I’ll call her tomorrow” is what I usually say. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Fail.
• “I don’t wanna like lead her on or something” – Cuz I’m not tryina be nobody’s boyfriend. This is a funny excuse. A lot of times guys think that the world revolves around them and that just because a girl seems interested in you, that means she wants to marry you. On the opposite side of my research, many of the girls I talked to said that sometimes when she gives her number to a guy, sometimes it just means that they think that guy is interesting, funny, or just cool. It doesn’t always mean that she wants to pursue a physical or emotional relationship. When we sometimes jump the gun, I think in a way we kinda trivialize the mental of the female gender, and that’s not exactly playing nice.
• “If I don’t try, I won’t get rejected” – The excuse guys are usually reluctant to admit. Among the men interviewed, a significant amount of them stated that they somehow felt that being able to charm the girl at the initial meeting was lucky or that they set such a high standard for themselves. When it’s time to call her back, he gets scared that he may not be able to live up to what she expects (or what he thinks she expects) either because he’s too much of a punkass, or because she intimidates him, or both.
• “I’m not a phone person, but I’ll text her to oblivion” – This is me too (kinda). I don’t like selling myself over the phone. And this is not just with dating, this is with everything. I can charm the hell outta an interviewer in person, but my phone presence during phone interviews is extra whack. I’m apparently not alone. Many guys don’t like talking on the phone. As men, when we call each other, it’s very procedural and with a clear and finite purpose. Ex) “Hey! What time are we gonna meet up?” “I dunno? Eight?”, “Ok, I’ll call when I’m downstairs”, “Make sure you come the back way”, “Aight”, “Yeh” End of Call. Calling someone we don’t really know to talk about nothing doesn’t seem to make sense when that person hasn’t given us much reason yet to talk to them. But texting! Procedural and straight to the point with a clear and finite purpose. Guys’ phone conversations with each other align perfectly with a typical text message convo. The downside is, when a guy usually only asks a girl straight forward questions about “where are you?” “do you wanna hang out/come over?”, this can be easily misinterpreted. More than half the females interviewed said that when a guy is only texting about meeting and not asking how there day is or questions like that, that can be seen as him just wanting to get laid when this very well may not be the case.

Let me make this 100% clear. All these excuses are bullshit and there probably is no good reason as to why a good third of us guys do this, only 1/2 ass rationalizations for irrational actions. What’s even worse is when we are talking to females and everything’s going good and then suddenly just….stop. But tha’s probably a whole new topic and question for another time. What is it about the male psyche that makes us act this way?

Males are supposedly the more logic-oriented sex, whereas women are more intuition-oriented in there decision making processes. After all the interviews, I’m still perplexed as to why we do this. Why do we sometimes not call her if we are actually interested? Is there an actual reason that we’ve missed?

Gotta figure this one out, until then…guess I’m still the worst person on the planet.

Speak….

“Bask in the Thugnificence!”

So I was going to save this bit of news, but for those of you who don’t know… The Boondocks Season 2 drops Tuesday. For those of you not up on The Boondocks, you are sooooooooo missing out. Consider your Black card in jeopardy. Fortunately for you, Season 1 is still scarcely available on DVD and the comic strip still runs in over 300 publications. Few series have captured the perspective of thinking brothas and sistas the way the Boondocks has. In fact, as The Boondocks set its cross-hairs on BET the network -once a bastion of Black programming- reportedly complained to Cartoon Network and Sony Pictures, which produces “The Boondocks”.

The result was two episodes particularly scathing to top BET executives, Debra Lee and Reginald Hudlin, being banned from U.S. airwaves. However, the two pulled episodes will make the season two DVDs. Spoiler alert: One in which a main character refuses to eat until BET is off the air and head executives commit seppuku. Another where a black man prejudiced against African-Americans gets his own show on BET.

According to an LA Times article, Cartoon Network initially resisted blocking the episodes, but when legal action was threatened the episodes were pulled. Supposedly, BET has no grudge against those responsible for the episodes says a BET spokesperson citing the networks own satirical content. Ironically, as the result of a professional partnership and eventual dissolution in 2005, Hudlin is also listed as an executive producer for “The Boondocks”.

As usual, the DVD’s commentary is anticipated to be well worth the attention. This season’s commentary does include the two controversial episodes, delivered by the ever-humorous co-executive producer Rodney Barnes and Boondocks creator Aaron McGruder. McGruder reportedly offers explanation for his pursuit of Black Entertainment Television network in the commentary essentially saying executives ‘failed to elevate’ the network’s standards – something expressly promised by Hudlin upon joining BET.

“I was looking for changes and improvements, and I didn’t see any,” McGruder said on the DVD. “I didn’t see them. So I said, OK, it’s fair game. It’s hard not to address it. It really was an important part of the strip.” Because of legal reasons, he adds, he cannot mention the real names of the people satirized in the episodes.

Barnes added: “You expect white television to present black people in a particular way. The anger comes from black television portraying us in a particular way. That brings out a different sense of frustration, and at the heart of these episodes is that frustration.”

Editorial:

Word BET?! The Boondocks has you scared like that?! Most people don’t even know The Boondocks exists and here you are whining (allegedly). What happened to “stop snitching”?! ‘Oh, you mad cus they stylin’ on you?’ Maybe u need to watch your sister channel MTV and pick up on the “No Bitch-ass-ness!”

Honestly, this brotha couldn’t agree more with McGruder and Barnes. BET fell off years ago. Slowly devolving from Entertainment to Embarassment. When Free and AJ bounced you knew there was nothing left. Nail in the coffin. And the network’s attempt to bank on the reality TV era didn’t help. I notice Christopher Scott Cherot (writer/producer/director/star of “Hav Plenty”) doesn’t even associate his name with College Hill anymore. Beyond that it’s hard to keep track of the programming (especially in prime time). I mean besides 106 & Park, what is on BET? By the way, i’m not saying that as if 106 is something to be proud of anymore, only that it’s the one mainstay. That and Bobby Jones’ Gospel which you could assume is kept around merely to ward off the guilt of the programmers. How do you dumb down your own people?

Then again maybe they’ve fallen prey to their own brainwashing; possibly really believing what they air is hot. Everyone knows if you play something enough you begin to like it. No matter how much you disdained it initially. First you avoid it, then you joke about it, then it has you. Maybe they’ve fallen so deep that they truly think everyone else is just hating. That BET really expresses where Black people are nowadays. Ha… oh no. What if they are right? I mean… what if the majority of us are carbon-copies of the 106 and Park audience. I could believe it. Not like i see a plethora of alternatives out there. (Probably just as planned.) I see a lot of my contemporaries falling in the BET line. I always say “people are sheep” but if the programming is following the herd and the herd is following the programming who’s the leader?

Poor Cousin Jeff. You know it’s only a matter of time before he bounces. How long can you stand being the paragon bringing up the test scores? The one brother the whole network points to for credibility. Remember when BET News was it’s own show. Not gon’ lie; Flava Flav has better moments than BET. D*mn!! So when the Boondocks parodies BET with the “Booty Buttcheeks” video, “Gangstalicious”, “Thugnificent” or a spot-on cooning Terrence (106 & Park co-host)… i feel relieved. Thankful that a collection of thinking Black folk are in the position to present an alternative to the portrayal of our people on BET. Hell, not only that; that they are recognized for it… when did BET ever win a Peabody Award?! Like Barnes said… I expect that portrayal of us from white programming, but when we broadcast ourselves like that the frustration is exponential. Oh and VH1 Soul, don’t think we don’t notice you slipping T-Pain, Keyshia Cole, etc into the mix. You are on notice!!