Fail: Yung Humma

My parents are rarely wrong when it comes to how to judge perceived human interactions. Their brand of tough love and harsh reality may have made me a slightly jaded individual, but it kept me from falling for the dumb ish all the other kids clearly accepted as the truth. While other kids were worshiping Santa Claus and the Hanukkah Harry, I was in the back of the kindergarten class smirking about how mentally superior I was to my classmates and played with the Flintstone Phone. I knew that the Muppets weren’t real, Mr. Rogers was a pedophile, and Big Bird was a transgendered Caucasian (and apparently the only Caucasian animal on Seasame Street). When people told me “You can’t judge a book by its cover”, I was the kid that told them “F**k that, you can go to an interview in jeans, I’m wearing a suit”.

If I thought judging things as soon as I see them wasn’t P.C., I wouldn’t have sensed the impending hot mess of failfest that was going to ensue as soon as I saw Yung Humma hand-combing what appeared to be his “man-weave” in the first few seconds of his video “Lemme Smang It”. It was all downhill from there. This video/artists/song/dance fails for several reasons too obvious to even point out. The production, the awkward video girls, the awkward dancing, Charlies Murphy’s evil crackhead twin brother from Bizzaroland, and the 80′s-rific extreme closeups at the end. I’m done.

So fasten your seatbelt and prepare to hop on the LOL-copter as you fly over the epic fail this that is this video….no, wait…experience.

Is it me or…?

DISCLAIMER: Clearly this is particular to my experience and I don’t mean everybody. But I’m in the heat of the moment and I want to generalize. Besides, if majority rules…

I am officially disappointed in everyone. People really suck, and no, I’m not jaded. People just never make sense. I’m so angry about this, because I see the logic in each situation. I am a reasonable person. I have a good grasp on reality. When I screw up, I’ll say so; and when people screw up, I’ll say that too. And when people just fail, it continues to disappoint me and makes me realize more and more how much people… well… suck. Read more

Parenting

We’re no experts, but…

if it’s 11:30pm and your kids are in the middle of the city streets unchaperoned howling (hopefully at the moon, if nothing else), you might be f*cking up.

Everyday, advocates for a license to have kids seem less and less crazy.  Do you think a bill would pass for a license to have more than one child?  Imagine the posters in support.  ”Kids:  the first one’s a gimme.”

Fail: ???????

It’s quiet. A little too quiet.

So I had in mind who Failed this week, but on second thought their shortcomings weren’t that crucial. In fact, their perspective follows a predictable line of logic they have been up to for months. Also, most of it revolved around Hillary again (and two Fails is beating a dead horse – where did this saying come from, who was out beating dead horses?). Whether it be Bob Johnson’s “please baby please” urging for Senator Obama to select his favorite blonde as VP or the millions (::like The Rock fans:: “and millions”) of people who are seriously considering voting for McCain just because Haterade didn’t seal the deal, AfroThought is beyond wasting a fail on them. However we’ve mentioned a larger looming darkness… (“Darkeness is spreading”). Read more