Where I Stand on S**t - The Yes and No’s

This is NOT a poem. Nor is it intended to be “deep“, just informative.

Living Out in California has been kinda strange. I meet alot of new people on an alarmingly constant basis. Most of which are self-absorbed and only hold a conversation with you so they can hear themselves speak. Many of them are actually cool people. However, almost all of them ask the SAME questions, many of which are ridiculous. A while back, I wrote them down as they were asked to me and in this Note I will be giving the answers to these ACTUAL questions I’ve been asked as of January 2nd, 2008. Yeh, it’s dated, but watever……enjoy:

The Prophet’s Yes and No’s

In General:

Yes, I am black.
Yes, I get angry.
No, I am not ALWAYS angry
Yes, I like rap music.
Yes, I enjoy rapping.
No, I am not a rapper
No, I am NOT trying to get a record deal.

Yes, I hold a degree.
No, that doesn’t make me smarter than you (other things do, lol j/k)

Yes, I am Texan.
Yes, I own a cowboy hat.
No, I don’t know where it is.
No, if I knew where it was I wouldn’t be wearing it.
Yes, I’ve rode a horse.
No, I have never owned a horse.

On Appearance:

Yes, I wear my jeans below my natural waste line
No, I do not wear my jeans below the midpoint of my ass.
Yes, I like my clothes to match
Yes, I also like not matching my clothes too

No, I don’t have a “nickname” like Lil’ <Insert Letter>-dawg.
Yes, I despise patterned logo jackets
No, I will NEVER wear a fitted, ever.
Yes, I MIGHT wear a cap….maybe.
Yes, I like jewelry.
Yes, I own several piece and chains.
No, they do not hang past my crotch.
No, I will never wear them again.
And No, you can’t have them.

On Beliefs:

Yes, I am Roman Catholic
Yes, I am aware of the contradictions of the Catholic faith
Yes, I am aware of the contradictions of the Christian faith
And Yes, I am still Catholic.
No, my religion isn’t “better’ than yours.
And no, yours isn’t “better” than mine.

Yes, I believe in Jesus Christ
Yes, Jesus had a posse.
And yes, they rolled deep.
Yes, I believe Jesus was HILARIOUS!
Yes, I believe he got his sense of humour from his pops, cuz THAT dude is funny.
No, I do not believe in Dinosaurs…at all.
No, I do not believe the first moon walk took place when it did.
Columbus wasn’t looking for spices.
Yes, it is likely that he was looking for people to sell as prostitutes/slaves or something dealing with personal gain and likely bloodshed.
Yes, I take Columbus Day off.

Yes, a candle burning for eight days is a miracle.
So yes, we should all celebrate Hanukah.
And yes, we should all get 8 days off work.

On Virtues:

No, I’m not a saint.
Yes, I like to believe I’m one.
Yes, it makes me feel good to think like that.
Yes, I believe lying is a waste of your time and more importantly, mine.
Yes, I will waste my time if my life depended on it.
Yes, I tell you exactly what I’m thinking.
Yes, I get over things quickly.

On Vices:

Yes, I am very sarcastic.
Yes, that comes off as arrogance.
No, I am not arrogant, nor a dick.
No, I don’t use sarcasm as an excuse to be a dick and get away with it.
Yes, I sometimes use sarcasm as an excuse to be a dick and get away with it.
No, I am not in denial
Yes, I am in denial.
Drunkenness is never an excuse, no matter how much you feel that it should count as one.
No, I don’t smoke.
No, I don’t drink….Clorox™.
Yes, I tell you exactly what I’m thinking.
Yes, I get over things quickly.
No, I can’t let hypocrites get away with the dumb shit they say.
Yes, it will take a great deal to actually get me angry.
No, you NEVER want to see me angry.
No, do not follow me when I walk away.
Yes, I’m serious, don’t follow me.
Cuz yes, I will fuck you up.
No, I am not in denial.

On Friends:

Yes, I enjoy the company of others
No, I will not be crippled without.
Yes, I believe in second chances
Yes, I’ll fight for you (literally)
No, I will not fight for you off some dumb shit.
No, I will not just watch you get your ass beat.
Yes, I will take a hit for you
And Yes, I will fuck you up.
No, I don’t want your support if you don’t REALLY support me
Yes, I want you to call me fucked up if you feel that way,
And Yes, I will fuck you up.

On Women:

Yes, I am Nigerian.

No I don’t live in a hut.
No, I’m not obsessively controlling
Yes, if I’m not angry/mad and you keep asking me, the answer will become yes.
Yes, you need to be able to make me laugh.
Yes, I do believe that women should be treated w/ utmost respect
Yes, I believe that you should give a good woman as much of the world that you can safely (and legally) afford.
Yes, I choose my battles.
Yes, I believe in compromise.
No, I do not negotiate w/ terrorists.

I think tha’s all for now…..