Rubberneckers

What are YOU looking at?!

You have twenty-six minutes left to get to your destination and, of course, there is traffic. One accident you accounted for, no problem. That second accident less than a mile up the same stretch of road, however, is the perfect situational “screw you”  requisite for reassessing your good deeds over the last week. As you near the flashing lights you discover the bane of many motorist’s life; the accident isn’t even on your side of the road. On top of that, there is a barrier between your side and that side. Meaning at 75mph you still present no threat to the parties in said accident save maybe a strong gust of wind and one of the coolest effects in the aural realm (eeeeyyurrrrmmm). Keep it moving!

Why do people feel the need to slow down for an accident on the opposite side of the road? I see this and think: “This doesn’t involve you. What are you doing?! You going to hop out and help?! No? Then keep it moving. Of all the people in this city, do you really think you might know them? Go! You really that bored in life?! Go!! Ugh, now, watch you get in an accident while being nosy. Move! I wouldn’t slow down for you either. Move!! Word? Is this how you get your jollies, watching others pain/misery/suffering? That’s messed up. You got issues, but what you don’t have is somewhere to be. Pedal, metal, make it happen!”

Seriously though, this isn’t the movies. There really is nothing to see. By now, we’ve all seen enough accidents to know that. The car is not going to explode. Panthro is not going to hop out and tear open a door. Nothing spectacular happens in car crashes. If you want some amazing crashes (again at others’ detriment) hit up YouTube. The one time I saw a car on fire it was kinda anticlimactic. The time I saw a car flipped upside down I didn’t drop below 50mph. Maybe if Michael Bay had been involved it would have been off-the-chain but as a freestanding mishap, not worth the lag.

This is all contrary to my default belief in driving; which is the few minutes that you spare doing daredevil tactics to get to your final destination aren’t worth possibly getting to your final destination.

Let’s smarten up out there. Shoot, let’s smarten up in general.