Better Listen to Your Corner…

When are rappers going to stop attempting to sing their own hooks?

Dear Rappers,

1. How am I supposed to believe you are as rich as you say you are when you can’t afford a singer. Do-it-yourself projects never scream affluence. In fact the wealthiest people show off by doing as little for themselves as possible. Think Hakeem in Zamunda from Coming to America.

2. Auto-tune came and went so if u couldn’t do it then, what delusion are you espousing now? Why are you making that $3000 microphone sound like a drive thru order box? Hopefully you have the gift of gab because melody definitely illuded you.

3. There’s nothing gangster about singing. It directly contradicts the machismo rap boasts. Not only that, since you can’t actually hold a note you just sound even more emasculated. You might as well attempt your own back up dancing in your videos. Singing is a talent and a fine art. It requires the same finesse and care that a skilled lover would have but when you attempt to hold a note it seems, as Bruce Leroy would say, you ‘don’t even own a paintbrush.’

4. R&B is already a dying genre. So much so that I can’t even find a proper link to point to helping to define the style i’m talking about. Add on to that the rappers and weaker vocalists autotuning themselves and there is no room for a great voice. Essentially vocalists like Teddy Pendergrass, Luther Vandross, even Tank, Javier and Carl Thomas are regretfully a thing of the past. There are possibly two cats with the capacity to pull off a viable ballad and/or respectable vocal runs still heard in heavy rotation on the radio. (I’m stretching, it seems Trey Songz is the only cat even trying to carry the R&B flag still. Though some of us give him the Prince look at times.) Fortunately the soul singers don’t give much of a care about the spotlight, hence their promotion tactics (or lack thereof), so they’ll continue to mark their little niche. A small oasis for those who get tired of the mainstream to go hang out. As I’ve said before, Nas may have claimed Hip-Hop is dead, but really R&B kicked the bucket.

That said, aside from that lonely island of soul and the ever-increasing gentrification of R&B to manifest as pop music. There aren’t many places left for a R&B singer to do his/her thing. Maybe they should turn to rock music; the results could be interesting. I think I will go listen to some Jimi Hendrix and I feel a blues binge coming on.