On-line Dating and Diabetes

Disclaimer: I know what ya’ll are thinking. “Oh, those staff writers at Afrothought.com and their bogus theories/metaphors/alternate perspectives. Do they expect us to just digest this sh*t oh, so complacently?!! ” But bear with me here on this one. And no, we don’t expect instant digestion. We actively encourage intensive mastication. And if it still doesn’t sit well. Feel free to purge. But bear with me on this one, you’ll see where it’s going…

I knew by pressing “submit payment”, after filling out the extensive “User Profile/Compatibility Survey”, I would officially become unattractive. Knowing this, I still pressed “submit”, and when the popup window asked me “Are you sure?”, I pressed “continue”. I had just gotten comfortable with my being attractive, so such submission, at first glance, would seem reckless. I would be throwing it all away. ‘Cause you know twenty-something year old females on online dating sites are either unattractive or psycho. And granted, though I may have my quirks, my life not too interesting to place me in the psycho category [and I am happy for this fact]. With dudes, though, it is different. But this was the stereotype that we all have grown accustomed to.

My motivation behind committing myself to a three month subscription, three months cause it was heavily discounted, had something to do with the town [unnamed] that I live in, my frustrations with being setup [read as: bamboozled] by friends, and laziness. Remember, nowhere in that list of motivational forces was the need to be married. . . at least not in the immediate future. So I was, and continue not to be, desperate.

And this brings me to my point:

Online dating is like diabetes [type 2, specifically]. Think about it. Diabetics, God bless ‘em, collectively can’t get their sh*t together. If they are not in denial about havin’ “the suga“, despite the fact that entire family had “the suga“, they are not sticking to their diet. And this literally kills people. For diabetes, many physicians subscribe insulin injections or other controlling medication. Diabetics and the general public cringe and are repulsed at the mere mention of insulin injections? Why? That’s because insulin injections are associated with the bitter end. After years of ignoring doctors’ advice, eating what they wanted, and not taking their pills, or medication, you see them injecting themselves with insulin in a state of desperation. Their health is nonexistent.

Maybe they have already had a leg or fingers amputated. Sh*t is bad. And insulin is the only thing that can handle the situation, somewhat. But, unfortunately, for many individuals even the potent power of insulin cannot stop that which is inevitable. And this is why insulin gets a bad rap. Had patients taken their insulin early in the game, that plus, diet, exercise, and continuity of medical care, the situation would have been a whole lot different. The desperation which terminal diabetics grasp for insulin, placing their hopes for vitality and wishes to assuage all former insults, is overwhelming. It comes to a point where no drug can accommodate such demands. And this parallels online dating. **stay with me**.

Women [let me not play pretend and include men in this], the majority at least, who have horrible experiences with online dating are those that feel as though they are socially terminal and the online dating service is their last outlet to restore their life into that meaningful storybook ending with the big wedding with the strapless wedding dress [is EVERYONE wearing these nowadays?] and the gorgeous reception. And sh*t doesn’t turn out that way. F And the vicious cycles of psychosis perpetuates. And then, the stereotype of psychotic women online is fulfilled.

To simple of an analysis? Maybe so. But I tell you this, you should not wait till you’ve had it with dating and feel that you are at your bottom before you sign up [despite the fact that we most likely prematurely define what our bottom is]. If you have ever thought about doing the online thing, do it now!!! Cause it sucks a$$. Seriously! I was actually wrong about my insulin/diabetes analogy. Insulin is great!! Especially starting it early after diagnosis. Online dating starting early on will in no way guarantee you success. It just means that with each failure, you will realize that, it’s not because you are such an unattractive loser, it merely means that online dating sucks. Yes, desperate times may call for desperate measures, but be responsible with your social life. Don’t put it on the back burner hoping that effortlessly you will run into him at Starbucks, while you’re reaching over for the Splenda and him reaching for the half and half. And definitely don’t put all your hopes in online dating. The pool of men involved is less than ideal and you, by not being desperate, will be able to move on unscathed.

And yes, it is a bit macabre to compare such levity like online dating with the seriousness of diabetes. Consider it a public service announcement. Git ya’lls sugas check. Diabetes is a real.

As “The Genius” would say, Discuss…