Getting by this Valentine’s Season

It’s the eleventh hour, and yes you forgot to buy her something. This post is being written on February 13th. I would have wrote it earlier but just like you, I forgot. No worries. But despite having at least a good 18 something hours to get something remotely meaningful, you’re not going to. And why? Who cares? She doesn’t. And because of that, you’re gonna have to hear this brought up for the next “who the hell knows”, that or she’ll just give you the whole guilt trip.

If this is how your girlfriend reacts, then chances are that you probably think you’re screwed and will just have to deal with the consequences until she blows over. It doesn’t have to be this way. You just have to chain the proper moves together before you score the K.O. There are 5 things that you can do to repair your situation and still be on top and #1 in her book, even AFTER you screw up royally.

1. Don’t (sound like you are telling a) lie. I can’t stress this enough. The first thing that most guys are inclined to do is to try to come up with a bulletproof (and often overly-elaborate) lie to excuse their forgetfulness. This is the recipe for disaster because over the years women have trained themselves to sniff out the bull that spews from our mouths. Men are creatures of habit and as a result our lying patterns have been well documented, studied, published, and distributed in mass. I’m not go into it right now but just know that most women, especially those that know you well, can tell when you are lying  because we are usually either too vague or way too specific.

Instead of doing just that, give her both at the same time. Vague and specific. Look her dead in the eye and tell her something like,

“All my plans fell through, so I had to move it to Thursday”. When she asks you what plans, tell her “If I tell you, it’ll screw it up and I been planning it for like the last 2 weeks. I was hoping somehow you’d forget, or I could work it out before today but, not so much.”

By mentioning a date in the past and locking in a date for the future, you will bring more credibility to your story without really saying anything at all. Hopefully this will provide the mental break and bit of confusion you need to make it to number 2.

2. Control the situation. At this stage, you need to do whatever possible to keep her calm and not thinking about what her friends did for V-day. An easy way to do this is to change the focus from ya’ll to her. Ask her those questions about her that get her thinking. This is where the creativity you should have used in getting a present needs to come in. Make sure that these questions are brought up naturally in conversation, otherwise it’ll look as forced as it really is. The type of question is important too. You know, those questions that you used at the beginning when you were trying to show her you had some substance mentally, or gauge if she had any substance herself. Ask questions that don’t really have any answers like,

“If someone took away everything you had except for one thing, and even though you’d lost everything, just having that one thing would make you happy. What would it be?”. Vacuous questions like that break someone’s train of thought (provided she’s not fuming mad at this point), and get her to think less about the you and more about her.

Hopefully, a few of these will be enough to generate conversation and calm her down and set her up for the next one.

3. Simple is better. After setting up the makeup date and calming her down, suggest something simple that the two of you can do. If it’s not too late at night, rent a movie on Netflix, cook for her, give her a massage, or try to pamper her as much as you can. You need to be the man who wanted to give her everything, but the world was against you, and even then, you are still trying.

4. Hit her with last 15 minutes. This is where you have to start working less and talking more. Women loved to be loved. Moreover, they loved to be loved by someone who loves them. And the only thing they love more than that, is hearing someone they love tell them that. Hopefully you were paying attention to all those chick flicks you’ve watched over the years. More importantly, you should have paid attention to the last 15 minutes of those movies because that is where the gold is. I’m not saying to spew out cliche phrases and lines from Jerry McGuire, but you need to let her know how special she is and lay it on THICK. Even if it’s corny, they will bite.

5. Lay the pipe down. And by pipe, I mean the plan. And by lay it down, I mean complete it. Now that you’re enjoying your alternative Valentine’s Day, don’t screw it up by NOT using the time you created and not planning your makeup date. That’s just dumb. Throughout the week remind her about how excited you are for Thursday. Tomorrow at work, or when she’s doing whatever girls do, get your ass online and figure something out. And oh yeah genius, now you’ve pumped it up so you better make that mess AMAZING!

Or you could just order some flowers and say you’re cash flow’s kinda tight now. Either way.

Happy Valentine’s Day.