My Beef with Breakfast
August 14, 2009 by The Prophet
Filed under Editorials
I hate breakfast. I hate making breakfast. I’d rather be asleep. The only reason I eat breakfast is because I love food. But what I don’t love is being forced to believe that eating breakfast will make me a more efficient and healthy person. It is 7:51AM right now as I’m writing this and I have not eaten breakfast nor do I intend to.
What has Breakfast done for you lately? The best thing to come out of 3031+ years of Breakfast was Orange Juice. Orange Juice and those teeny sausages, but they’re not even that great. I loathe making pancakes. They are flat, round, fluffy wastes of my damn time.
Everyone always says “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day”. If that is true, then how is it that most people skip breakfast and still are productive, healthy, and efficient? As a matter of fact, I’m more than positive if you ask 10 people “If you have to cut out one meal in the day, what would it be?” I’m sure that at least 9 people will say “breakfast”. That’s actually a good survey to conduct. Let me check, brb.
Ok, I asked 10 people on the way to the bank. Here’s what happened. 8 said Breakfast, one said Lunch (sorry for you), and 1 said Brunch (really, they said Brunch).
Think about it, breakfast is the least mouthwatering meal you can have. Lunch can be amazing, Dinner could be better than sex, but Breakfast? Even if you do have a spectacular breakfast, then you become sluggish and don’t feel like doing a damn thing. Is that any way to start off your day?
I think Breakfast has a low self-esteem and is overcompensating by shoving how “important” he thinks he is down everyone’s throat…literally. Breakfast sux.
Obama Rushes to Quell Racial Uproar
July 25, 2009 by The Reverend
Filed under Editorials
“Walks like a duck…”
“Obama conceded his words had been ill-chosen, but he stopped short of a public apology.”~Nancy Benac, AP
(Source: Obama Rushes to Quell Racial Uproar He Helped Fire – ABC News) Read more
Impossible takes a week?
July 18, 2009 by The Reverend
Filed under Editorials
The Associated Press: Obama losing some support among nervous Dems:
“‘This is the worst economic time anyone under the age of 80 has ever experienced, and you can’t discount people being afraid. Now that we are in July, the fear is turning to disappointment that the president hasn’t fixed everything yet. I don’t know why they thought he could change everything by now, but some did.’” ~ Steve Glorioso, Democratic strategist
Editorial:
Patience! No one could fix eight years of the worst administration ever in a few months. Folks are clearly underestimating how far in the hole the last administration put everyone. And I mean everyone; 3 major disasters, the last affecting the whole world’s economy. You know, in case they missed anyone with 9/11 and Katrina. Lex Luthor would be envious.
Blame Dana
May 14, 2009 by The Genius
Filed under Editorials
Silva is not Fedor. Nor is Fedor Silva. People needa stop comparing the two. Silva’s said 1000x he’s not #1 and Dana keeps shoving it down everyone’s throats and bashing Fedor because:
1) He’s not fighting the best of the best
2) Fedor won’t massage Dana’s balls and join the UFC
as for #1, Silva is not facing the best guys either. I think we both agree that Leites was a HORRIBLE challenger, we knew that going in. And I think that Leites greatly exceeded everyone’s expectations with his amazingly garbage ass performance. Dude wasn’t even at the post-fight press conference. Cote i’ve NEVER liked either.
No, Silva didn’t do wat everyone wanted him to do (Silva…Smash). But as long as the ENTIRE MMA community wants to compare him w/ Fedor, when was the last time you’ve seen a challenger for Fedor’s title just fall on the ground 1000x or just run away from him the ENTIRE fight. Leites only landed 17 strikes, less than 25% of his total shots whereas Silva landed 104, 70% of his shots.
If you want the fight to goto the ground, go for the takedown or jump guard. No fighter in MMA will come inside a persons guard unless he was taken down (ur pulled into guard) or his opponent got knocked down. Tha’s how MMA WORKS! If Fedor was fighting Leites and Thales just sat down in the ring. Fedor would look at him like “WTF?” too. Tha’s the most redickulous mess ever.
Even when Silva was in Thales’ guard, he got out EASY more than once. When Silva was on his back, he was controlling this dude. What does this say? Silva is a STRIKER, w/ some damn good Jiu-Jitsu, but at the end of the day, I think anyone would be frustrated if ur stuck in an organization w/ a president who’s using u as a marketing tool when you’re CONSTANTLY saying U ARE NOT the #1 P4P.
I just want him to Fight GSP (if he beats Alves), kick HIS ass, and move up to 205. Cuz the 205ers aren’t gonna pull that same kinda crap Cote and Leites did. Most 205ers are pretty scary. 185 has went to the s*** tank like the Heavyweight division did a few yrs back. Thank goodness, that ’s changing now (hopefully).
Menace II Society
February 15, 2009 by The Reverend
Filed under Editorials
Menace II Society…*
2:19 am. My girlfriend and I are returning home from a social at a coworkers house driving down the main street in my town a few lights away from our turn. I notice a police cruiser parallel parked across the street. I happen to look at the officer as we pass, curious to see if he was vigilantly watching the area or working on the computer most cruisers have. Behind me is an SUV. As I pass the officer, I notice his attention is locked on to me. He promptly u-turns and falls in behind the SUV. Then pulls up along side the SUV. Now, I know good and well he’s not interested in the SUV but for the sake of doubt I somewhat casually make the next left as the officer is in the right lane blocked by the SUV and it would be hard for him to follow inconspicuously.
Clearly subtly isn’t his strong suit as he awkwardly maneuvers to follow me some 30 feet back. Since I’ve clearly piqued his interest, I pull over. As this is not the first time I’ve aroused authoritative suspicion by simply existing, I know a few tricks to these encounters. Plus my record is spotless, and I have character witnesses for days. Thus this time I decide to do the “can I help you, Officer Friendly?” having already started by pulling over. I know everything that happens from here has to be flawless else this situation can go very badly very easily. My only mistake thus far is the place I’ve picked to stop. I’ve stopped near a “No Parking” zone, so I don’t turn off my engine, thus I’m legally “standing”. He’s still a ways back so I turn off my lights thinking maybe he’ll just cruise by thinking I’m going to get out soon. He doesn’t. Instead he stays 25 feet back now, just watching and brazenly blocking the street were anyone else needing to come along. As well, he doesn’t pull up along side right away making the inevitable encounter more suspicious. Thus my only mistake so far is swelling into a huge error if I don’t play this exactly right. Even worse, my girl is in the car and she’s never been here for these types of “protect and serve” occurrences. Clearly I’m not getting out because I don’t live here. Clearly I’m watching him just like he’s watching me. As well, I’ve turned off my lights so he can’t read my plates which I’ll bestow him the aptitude of picking up on.
Now it’s the waiting game. I’m not getting out. Mainly because I can’t play it off like I’m going anywhere around here, also I don’t know how inept this officer may be and last thing I want to do is get shot reaching for the identification he would ask from me. As well, that would fall back into I’m parked in a no parking zone. I’m in check. Can’t just drive off now, because clearly I’ve stopped here to watch him as he is watching me so he will just keep following me. I’d rather do this here than at my place. Really not comfortable with a shady cop at my spot. Let’s just say I was feeling less than civil. After a long 7 minutes of waiting he finally pulls up next to me. I look at him. He looks at me. I roll down my window ready for whatever bull he is about to spew.
“Hello” with the Leave-It-To-Beaver nod. Your move officer.
“You know you can’t park here, right?”
“I know.”
“So why are you stopped here?”
“You were following me.”
“Well… I’m just on my patrol. So why are you parked here?”
“You were following me. I am not parked, my engine is running.”
“So why did you turn your lights off?”
“I didn’t want to waste the battery.”
“Do you live here?”
“No, we don’t.”
“Where are you… whose we?”
“My girlfriend and me.”
“So does your girlfriend live here?”
“…No…?!”
“So why are you stopped here?”
“You were following me. May I help you?”
“What makes you say I was following you?”
“You saw me, made a quick u turn, followed me as I turned on to this street and waited as I pulled over.”
“…”
“…?!” [Debate standoff rule: First one to speak loses.]
“… Where are you from?”
“…I’m from around here.”
“…”
“…” [He is in check. From here I know I can wrap it up.]
“Would you like to follow me home?”
“Do you need a ride?”
“No… I’m fine.”
“Where do you live?”
“…nearby.”
“…What street?”
“[Name of my actual street.]“
“….” Stalemate.
We just stare at each other for a few moments. Him knowing that I find him just as suspicious as he finds me. He had no justifiable reason to follow me to this spot just as I have no reason to be here. As well, the situation of “we’re talking here because you were followed me here” is so cyclical that he can’t do anything about it. The more philosophically straightforward query being ‘would we be there had he not so brazenly followed me there?’ Lastly, I know he saw me trying to look at his unit number but he’d pulled up in such a way that it just happened to be out of sight the way the town marks the cruisers. As well, in my attempt not to say anymore than I needed to, I forgot to ask him his name.
“…I think you better head on home.”
“Yeah, you have a good night too, officer.” Slightly failing to hide my rejuvenated contempt.
Turned on my lights (released the parking brake, shhhh) and hastily drove off, making sure he couldn’t fault me for any moving violations henceforth. I looked in my mirror the few blocks home, just to see if he might actually follow me. The headlights in the distance didn’t seem like his.
My girlfriend felt I should have just driven home to begin with and let him follow us if he wanted. I disagreed citing location of the possible encounter. She retorted that the side street I chose wasn’t ideal. I chuckled a bit acknowledging that fact. I was so focused on making the officer do something that he couldn’t explain away -were he not “arbitrarily patrolling”- that I was a bit further down the side street than I would have liked to have been. We enjoyed the moment of levity before falling back into the reality of being Black in America.
Farewell and Good Riddance
January 19, 2009 by The Celebrity
Filed under Editorials
W:Â “…during I arrived in President.”
Ok, so “President†George W. Bush gave his final address to the American people tonight….was I the only one with a glass of champagne? (And I don’t even drink like that.) It goes without saying that his administration and presidency will be dubbed for centuries as one of the worst, but what continues to amaze me is the consistency of this man’s resolve. At one time I was thoroughly convinced that not-soon-enough-to-be former “President†Bush was in fact the true spawn of Satan, utterlly devoted to destroying the legacy of this once great nation. However, I have subsequently been swayed to the truth of the matter; he’s not (completely) evil, but rather is simply one of the dumbest people on the planet. Unabashed ignorance and mediocrity are okay if your responsibilities are limited to counting blades of grass, but if you are supposed to protect and lead the most powerful nation in the world, said flaws are flat out unacceptable. He had the nerveeeee to claim that while some may not agree with his decisions, no one can argue with the results. What? He just sat with Larry King two days ago and when asked if we were ever close to finding Bin Laden, his response was “I don’t knowâ€â€¦
Here’s a lesson for all: something (i.e. another official terrorist attack) not happening since the first time you failed to protect does not exactly correlate to success. Stay with me, stay with me. If the undeniable “result†is that another attack hasn’t occurred, clearly you are asserting that the lack of attack is a result of your actions. But how do you reconcile the fact that you never caught the supposed perpetrator of the attack in the first place? Or better yet, that you don’t even know if you were ever close to doing so? Wouldn’t it be more reasonable to assume, since you did not stop the first attack and launched a world-wide man-hunt that some 8 years later has proved fruitless, that the real reason an attack hasn’t occurred is that the perpetrator has decided not to attack again? Couple that with the fact that the two wars you’ve since started and continue have claimed more American lives than the terrorist attack, throw in a Katrina (lack of) response or two, and you tell me the results are successful? Wow….
And speaking of Katrina ‘nem: was I also the only one who had a problem with the black pew in the front? Way to be completely unconcerned about a race of people until you were put on blast on T.V. Can we say ‘ridiculous attempt to clean up the blood on your hands’? Again, stupidity. In the Larry King interview, when asked what his greatest regret was, he responded being called a racist. Well…. his overture to the black pew showed his insincerity and diminished the accomplishments of these fine citizens. The feeble attempt was further off-putting because he had the nerveeeeeeee to bring Obama’s good name into his “speechâ€. I’m tired of thinking about this failure. W, farewell and good riddance.
The S-Word
November 7, 2008 by The Hermit
Filed under Editorials, Politics and Government
Socialism. That’s right. I said it. I know; I’m a bad, bad girl for saying such a dirty, dirty word. How do I know it’s dirty? Well, because McCain and Palin told me so, of course. Towards the end of the presidential campaign, they started throwing the S-Word around at Republican rallies like an overused yo momma joke. Read more
Fail: Chocolate News & David Alan Grier
October 29, 2008 by The Genius
Filed under Editorials, Fail : Current Losers
When I first heard that Comedy Central was going to start airing a show called “Chocolate News”, I got worried. All I could think about was “I just hope it’s responsible”, meaning I hope they don’t go all in and bet the farm on racial stereotype jokes the whole season (if it lasts that long, God forbid). Read more
Transitions in Texture
August 13, 2008 by The Paragon
Filed under Culture & Society, Editorials
“Don’t let nobody peep yo naps.”
During Black History month in the 7th grade (late 80’s/early 90s), having written previously about Sojourner Truth and Harriet Tubman, and Dr. MLK, himself, I ventured into new territory. I constructed this great three sided poster filled with pasted on pictures, text written in bold colored marker, and, of course, artistic puff paint, exalting the first FEMALE (black or white) self-made millionaire, Madam C.J. Walker. She, being the premier entrepreneur that defined the modern day black hair care industry and standards of “straightened” beauty. Read more
Rapper or Republican?
August 8, 2008 by The Gentleman
Filed under Editorials, Genius Theories
“It ain’t hard to tell… ” or is it?
My best friend was perusing a gaming magazine recently and noticed a short blurb on a new video game coming out… you ready?…wait for it…wait for it… 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. Oh! I kid you not. Essentially 50 Cent murdering mofos in the Middle East. Now I will give Vivendi the benefit of the doubt that the premise (and it’s proclivity to alliteration) is pure happenstance but one can’t help but wonder… Read more