Masters of the lie, the visual lie.

Look at you.
You got on heels, you ain’t that tall.

You got on makeup,
your face don’t look like that.

You got a weave, your hair ain’t that long.

You got a Wonderbra on,
your titties ain’t that big.

Everything about you is a lie,
and you expect me to tell the truth?

F*ck you!
~ Chris Rock, Bigger & Blacker

Okay, that’s a bit much but it lies adjacent to a different point that we here at AfroThought have been meaning to tackle. Recently an associate expressed befuddlement that guys always approach her when she feels she is not looking her best or at least not presented in a way she would prefer her first impression to appear aesthetically. She gave an example of an instance when she was approached while she had no make-up on. We doubt she was busted, but apparently she didn’t expect to be seen. Conversely, whenever she is out on the town looking like a “vision of perfection” from her “hair follicles to her toe nails” only the C-team steps to her. We figured we should clear any misconceptions over this image phenomenon by presenting our perspectives.

The Gentleman’s Thoughts

The Genius’ Thoughts

The Prophet’s Thoughts

“Why do guys always approach her when she’s not looking so hot, but when she’s all dolled up and on point, none of the fine guys step to her, only the C-team.”

Here’s what The Gentleman had to say about it:

“It’s deep how you can be so shallow.” © Cee-Lo Green

Attention ladies:
You are not wearing make-up for guys. You are wearing make-up for yourself. Beyond that, you are wearing make-up for other girls. Now hopefully for many of you this is no shock, but some of you are perplexed. You can’t understand why men you might be interested in approach you when you aren’t wearing make-up as opposed to the subpar suitors that throw out pick-up lines when you are.

Think about that. Introspect the very reason you prepare yourself the way you do. Then break down your experiences of make-up vs no make-up again. We’ll come back to it.

We See You
For starters, make-up isn’t as magical as you think it is. In fact, it’s not fooling anybody of anything. We see you. You’re not “vanishing”, “masking”, “contouring”, “revitalizing”, “concealing” anything. WE SEE YOU. It’s almost insulting to act as if we can’t tell what you look like without makeup. It’s the equivalent of hiding behind your hands and breathily saying “I disappeared. Where did I go?!”. We might have been fooled when we were younger, but now… nope. Not only that, some of us have dated enough that we could give you some pointers.

Example: Properly applied lip gloss trumps any lipstick, any day for any desired look/effect/whatever for any desired bachelor/target etc. That’s a freebie. Enjoy.

Do you disagree? Do you think this is just one guy’s opinion. Well, if you don’t believe me, do a study. Ask the next guys you are attracted to and guys you aren’t attracted to which they prefer “lip gloss or lipstick”. Side note: I hope you know that as a female you can approach ANY dude at ANY time. In fact, guys LOVE it. So next time you are out, day or night, approach the most attractive person that you can find and say “I’m trying to settle a disagreement” and ask his preferences. Then get his name and number. If necessary, claim that it’s just in case you have to verify the preference for the opposing party in the wager.

Wave Your Flag
Every sensible/respectable guy can see trouble coming from a mile away. Make-up is like a warning flag; a flag literally written on your face. Thus to those who habitually wear it, thank you. You are telling us most of what we need to know without even talking to you. Well, some of us anyway.

It seems the quantity of make-up is usually directly proportionate to the issues of the wearer. The first and most obvious being self-image. Either she is insecure about her looks or too absorbed in her looks. Either way, it’s a bit too superficial; which is a shame because a number of you look better with a little moisturizer and some chapstick. You don’t landscape a beach. If you’re pretty, you’re pretty.

Personally, I’ve tried to be open-minded about this but the results follow a trend. Every time I’ve dated someone whom I’ve discovered wore a lot or make-up (meaning I approached her with little-to-no make-up and only discovered her cosmetic consumerism later) there were other issues that basically made “us” difficult. Makes sense though, some things in life just take a certain type of person. The person who can spend ten or more minutes doing their make-up… well…

Birds of a Feather
Similarly, it should be no surprise then that when wearing make-up you are approached by certain types as well. So, again, think about it. If you don’t like the guys that approach you when you are wearing make-up, then what is your make-up saying about you? Or what you want?

Example: If you make yourself look like a Barbie doll, of course cats are going to toy with you.

I’ll give you a cop out though, maybe you just applied it wrong. That way you can keep on wearing the warning flag and continue to let the rest of us know what we’re getting into.

It’s like National Geographic: “The female wards off desirable males with particular markings on her visage unaware of the signals she is sending.”

Meanwhile the girl with less make-up seems to have other priorities. Maybe she values other things about herself more than her appearance. Maybe she is just driven to focus on other aspects of her life. Maybe she’s laid-back and doesn’t care how others see her. Maybe she’s just that confident about her self-image that she feels she can rock the no make-up look. I wonder what she does with all the time and money she saves. All of these things I don’t know because I don’t get to judge this book by it’s cover. Gasp, I would have to talk to her to find out who she is AND/OR confirm my suspicions.

Now you may try to say that guys are intimidated by a woman who looks like she’s got it going on. That may be true. But in case it isn’t true, I hope you know the woman wearing the make-up is not the one who seems to have it together; it’s the other woman. She seems more confident, plus I can’t tell everything I need to know by looking at her. Hence why she gets approached. And why, when you aren’t wearing make-up, you get approached.

Most of the guys you would want to approach you aren’t fans of make-up. You know the types. The men who don’t play games. They have magnetic charisma, nice job, values, fun, etc. Those guys, they aren’t fans. Granted, if you are going somewhere extremely formal and/or important, it is understandable that maybe you want to even out your skin tone and accent this or that feature. Acknowledge the event. Hell, sometimes you just want to look nice to make yourself feel good. But seriously, calm down. Oh, and why would you want a guy who is less attracted to you without your make-up? Multiple faults there.

Lastly, when you don’t wear make up you are also more accessible. No lipstick, guys can kiss you without coming away wearing lipstick or tasting it. No make-up, we can hold you close and not get make up on our clothes. Essentially, if we don’t think you need to wear make-up, we definitely don’t want to wear it ourselves. Besides, you are beautiful, are you not? We think so. Especially when we get to see the real you. The you that we would ideally want to get to know, wake up next to, commit to. The real you. Why would you want to hide that from us?

Less is more.

Leave your thoughts below.

The Make-up Myth: The Introduction

The Genius’ Thoughts

The Prophet’s Thoughts

“Why do guys always approach her when she’s not looking so hot, but when she’s all dolled up and on point, none of the fine guys step to her, only the C-team.”

Here’s what The Prophet had to say about it:

Here’s the deal. The reason why guys aren’t really approaching you when you are looking your best isn’t because of what your makeup is saying about you or that we are selectively sniping our targets. The reason is that dudes these days are just timid and lazy. Yep. You ladies were right. We are just reluctant to talk to you for fear of rejection.

You see, guys have extremely fragile egos. Rejection is something that most guys need to be able to deal with and a key part of life but something that only a very small percentage of guys are capable of handling without batting an eye. The problem is that the overwhelming majority of guys who have the balls to come up to you when you are looking your best are card-carrying members of the C-team. These are the guys I believe that The Genius was talking about as being “That Dude“.  So what about the other guys? The guys belonging to the A-team, hell even the B-team? Why aren’t they talking to you? The answer is simple:  Hoes.

First of all, let me start off by saying that I do not run around calling women bitches and hoes. My mother is a woman and so are my sisters, best friends, and family members. Teachers, religious mentors, neighbors, girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, and mail-lady. But everyone needs to stop fronting and realize that hoes do exist. All women are not bitches or hoes, we’re talking 20-25% tops. And it’s this segment that messes everything up for all you quality women out there who got it going on both physically and mentally. This is because the hoes are actually the ones doing the sniping. They feed on all the men from the A-team, B-team, and C-team in that very order and as wonderful as I think the male race is, we are lazy as hell.

Conditioning is the reason we are not talking to you. Most of your good-looking male friends are perfectly capable of getting  “attention” from pretty women without even doing anything. It may not be as easy or as often as it is for even the averagest looking woman, but give it some time, and they will come.

Let’s recap. Men these days are confronted with a dilemma, one that we chose the easiest course of action to solve. On one hand, we are faced with possible rejection from women who know that they look good and know their own worth. On the other hand, we are also well aware that if we just chill for long enough, hoes will make their presence known and we will get “candy” from them. Because guys are lazy, we choose the hoes option because it’s easier and still keeps our egos in tact. I personally believe this is the reason that men are typically attracted to crazy ass women. Sorry ladies, but the truth is just as brutal as you thought. Also, I am very aware that I just used the word “averagest” in the last paragraph. I do not regret that at all. I was just too lazy to change it.

See, told you.

What do you think? Let us know.

The Make-up Myth: The Introduction

The Gentleman’s Thoughts

The Genius’ Thoughts

“Why do guys always approach her when she’s not looking so hot, but when she’s all dolled up and on point, none of the fine guys step to her, only the C-team?”

Here’s what The Genius had to say about it:

With all due respect to my fellow colleague The Gentleman, I think maybe he got the purpose of this article confused himself, or maybe he chose to comment on just the makeup, which is ONE aspect of the larger issue.; however, his points can also be applicable to the bigger issue, which is “Accuracy”.

Makeup aside, women get into dress-up battles with themselves and their friends when they go out. It’s all fun and games, and I personally don’t really see anything wrong with it. The problem, or should I say confusion, comes in when their attire does not match their surroundings, or how I perceive my surroundings.

I don’t consider myself a Casanova by any means. But I am a firm believer in social engineering and the chief advocate against the Law of Large Numbers (as applied to dating).  This means that I’m all about accuracy when I approach women. Not all men are like this, but usually the ones you want to talk to are. You see, the C-Team that you speak of is only interested in your superficial appearance, that is after all the main reason he approached you; he has nothing else to go off of. His M.O. is “Hey, might as well try, right? Worst that can happen is she’ll say ‘No’. I’ll live”. Which actually, is true. The problem is that if you DO say no, where does that put me? Am I to just hang it up that night, or am I to move onto the next woman? For these guys, the latter is the preferred choice of action. But after 2 or 3 rejections, he becomes “That Dude“ at the club who is trying to hit on everyone. And no girl likes “That Dude”. You certainly don’t.

When “That Dude” approaches you, you all are instantly turned off by him and say to yourself, and sometimes to him directly, “Why are you hollerin’ at me, I’m just another number to you.” Now let’s assume that you and “That Dude” would have actually hit it off and started a wonderful relationship together had he just approached you first. His chances of achieving success with women he actually stands a chance with significantly decreases with each approach and rejection he gets. And ladies, you are not stupid. You can smell this strategy on a guy from a mile away. If he doesn’t make you feel special, then he’s not. Drop him.

Now let me ask you this: Why would I put myself in that position? I don’t go headhunting for “chicks” when I go out. If I decide to talk to a woman while out in a public setting, I understand that by doing so, I am crossing out several other women from contention. It would makes sense to me to find the ones that I think mesh better with my character and vice-versa rather than just one that “looks good“. I’m a sniper, not Infantry. It’s all about accuracy. One shot, one kill.

How can I tell which ones mesh the best with me and who I have a better chance with? Simple, I’m a confident and intelligent person, so I have my best chances with a woman who has the same qualities. Typically, women who I deem as overdressed for the occasion have something to compensate for. Not all of you, but enough. I’ve went to a dive bar to watch a fight and saw a group of women dressed in those bandage dresses (I don’t know what they’re called but they are tight) and expensive looking shoes. Sure they looked good, and they were approached by every bar slob in the place. To me, that looks like these girls want to step out and get noticed. But at a Dive Bar? Really? Am I going to include myself in the folds of men who flock as soon as they see eyeliner and boobies. Nah homie. I’m straight.

To me, overdressing = confidence issues or attention deficiency disorder.

“If my tit is hanging out my dress, the night is gonna be interesting!”

I know you women have fun turning guys down. We know that. Hell, we have fun turning women down. Ok, tha’s a lie. We don’t turn them down, we keep them around anyway, but like you, we do it because we just want our ego stroked.

I know some of you women are of course saying, “I don’t do that. I dress for me, myself, and I.”

Yeh, I’m sure you do. But I personally think that this type of woman represents about 30% of you all. So for the sake of that 30%, I’m hollering at none of ya’ll. Blame them, not me.

Thirty percent! That may seem too low to be casting off the vast majority of women, but when you talk about accuracy, it makes sense. Look at the women who dress sophisticated, appropriate, and leave enough to the imagination to pique my interest. Ladies, our definitions of those words are different than yours. I want the girl who dresses comfortably over provocatively, reserved over liberally, confident over attention-starved. Out of all the women that dress like that, I have a better rate of success with these ladies than the flashy, makeup intensive, fashion overloaded ones. Out of both groups, the latter yields significantly less false positives than the former with a much higher conversion ratio. I’m gonna do what benefits me, so will the rest of the A-team.

We scan you before you even see us and the logic that drives the male brain will always do the math. Some are just better than others at it. The C-team does the Law of Large Numbers thing while the A-team provides a hypothesis and formulates a proof. So if you feel that the girls that dress up and have no substance don’t include you: No offense, I’m just tryina keep my stats up. I’ve done the math, and it’s sound. Trust me, I’m a genius.

Discuss below and be sure to check out what my colleagues think. Let them know how right I am.

The Make-up Myth: The Introduction

The Gentleman’s Thoughts

The Prophet’s Thoughts

I know a lot of words. Really, I do. I write; I read; words are sort of my thing. My favorite game is Quiddler. There is nothing I love more than Jeopardy‘s “Crossword Clues Q” (or J or X or…) category. Sometimes I pick up Macbeth and start re-reading it, just for fun.

And yet, the number of words I don’t know still seems as large and limitless as it did when I was three years old, and the only word I recognized when my mother would read The Monster at the End of This Book: Starring Lovable, Furry Old Grover to me, was “strength.”

For instance, I have just finished reading Atmospheric Disturbances by Rivka Galchen. This was an absolutely (as they say) whip-smart book, featuring a man who believes his wife has been replaced with a simulacrum, a cosmic conflict between the Royal Academy of Meteorology and the 49 Quantum Fathers, a quixotic quest, and a flawlessly executed unreliable first-person narration. Now up there with I, Lucifer, this novel has made it onto the short list of my favorite books. (Incidentally, I came across it, as I do so many of the best books, by randomly browsing the shelves of my local library.)

The point I am slowly meandering toward is that this novel—aside from provoking me into envying Rivka Galcehn‘s intelligence, command of language, and ability to produce an engaging plot—taught me a lot of new words (see below). And when I think back upon the countless number of books I have read over the course of my life, it frightens me to imagine how much less knowledgeable I would now be without having done so. What I’m saying is this: Please read.

Note: definitions gathered from Merriam-Webster, The Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary.com, and Wikipedia

According to a recent article on NPR, raising a child costs $222,360 USD. This is of course adjusted for inflation and calculated through age seventeen (17). However, I think we all know that seventeen is not when you really stop funding a child. Regardless, this figure is definitely one of my first thoughts when I think about eventually having kids. Daddy loves you, but can’t afford you just yet; maybe next fiscal year.

I used to always think about how tragic it was that my generation never really had some revolutionary superstar martial artist that was featured on primetime television doing an interview on the philosophical aspects to martial arts.  Moreover, I would like to see something like that done on the topic of peace, tranquility, and Enlightenment as well.  I guess that’s why we document stuff and put it out on the web.  So people never really forget it.  Hell, to be perfectly honest I sometimes get jealous that we (the generation X’ers) didn’t get the opportunity to know what it felt like to even watch CBS news in entirely black and white.  Anyways, moving on.

I wrote a paper one time on an aspect or type of philosophy titled, “Existentialism”.  In it I tried to describe how an individual can overcome adversity simply by using the power of one’s mind.  The idea was simple, “to exist, persevere, and to never stop questioning.”  I feel like I’m supposed to cite that sentence to the left but I’m too lazy today.  Unfortunately, I feel like the father of existentialism Soren Kierkegaard never really answered the real questions of why obstacles are put in front of us.  He merely described them.  Martial arts on the other hand I feel answers those questions.  It does however not by training you how to fight, but rather training you how NOT to fight.  There is a mental application to the arts that I feel never really gets any credit.   What does this mean?!  Here is an example.  You’ll need a pen and pad for this experiment.

With your pen in your hand and your pad in front of you, take a long hard look at your surroundings.  Try and become the room around you.  Every infinitesimal grain of sand or dust, every bookshelf, the tree in the corner, try and memorize it all.  Now slowly close your eyes.  Breathe.  In….out….in…and out.  Try and ingrain into your mind all of the things you had seen.  Now with your pen and pad handy and your eyes still closed write a list of the things you had seen.  Write it all down.  Do this for about one solid minute because anything longer would be strange.

Now open your eyes.  Take a look at your settings.  Your list I’m sure is more comprehensive than mine but why are we not fascinated that despite its length, it’s just…not…enough.  What did you miss?  A whole lot I’m sure.  I know, you’re wondering Virtuoso, where are you going with this?  What does this have to do with martial arts?

The notepad and pen experiment shows us our fragility.  Putting it another way, our inability to fathom control.  You see the fact of the matter is no matter how hard we train or practice at something we never really get it right. That is of course until the very end, when we understand the value of nothingness vis a vie, death. That is the beauty behind living, there never really is a shortage of things to do but at times it can get extremely overbearing.  Your mind shows you that in any fight, the outcome will be how you think it should be.  This is important.

I mean….isn’t it amazing that we have options and potentials that are all around us.  In an ENDLESS sea of potentials we are truly and honestly limitless in our abilities.

I have to quote someone here to make my point.

“The brain processes 400 billion bits of information a second, but we’re only aware of 2000 of those.”  -Dr. Joseph Dispenza

I took that quote from two wonderful movies titled, What the Bleep Do We Know and Down the Rabbit Hole.  Both movies deal with the wonders of quantum mechanics.  Now imagine that, 400 billion bits.  400 billion pieces of information!  All that information floating around you, everyday, consistently without you even realizing it.   400 BILLION pieces of information.  The sheer fact that we are able to process 2000 isn’t just radical, it shows us that we border upon the abilities of gods.  With practice of course.  You see, like  a good intense workout the human destroys his or her’s muscle tissue in order to build larger and more powerful tissue.  The brain works the same way.

Everytime you close your eyes, everytime you need to get in your car and just drive to think, or not think, you are going through one of the most beneficial workouts of your entire life.  I believe the martial arts version of this comes in the form of meditation.  People tend to be really skeptical when you tell them stuff like this but after the world’s most intelligent human being Stephen Hawking alerted ABC News that he believed in aliens, I don’t think these ideas are too far-fetched.

What does the understanding of our limitations have to do with anything?  Besides the fact that it levels the playing field for us as a race it teaches us of our LIMITLESS potential.  The fact that we know means we can practice and get close to perfection.  It all comes down to choice.  It is important that I mention that the purpose to this article is not to have everyone jump out of their chairs and slap people around just because they KNOW they can or FEEL they can.  No, on the contrary the KNOWING should actually give you more of a reason not to.

What it SHOULD do however is make you feel more inclined to practice and work on not just your physical attributes and abilities but also your MENTAL ones as well.  Because one day you WILL want to close your eyes for a solid minute, open them and actually be able to write every single thing around you…in perfection.  Why?  Because it is only then when you have tasted sheer bliss.  It is only then when you can master control.  The Dalai Lama in his book Illuminating The Path To Englightenment illustrates on how exactly to do this.  Currently, I’m still trying to finish the book (100 pages in) but I should mention that it is an amazing read.  As a writer he touched on some fascinating research, particularly with regards to words.  Apparently, there was research done that said that those individuals who were prone to use the word “I” in any form of it had a greater risk of dying from heart disease.  It was as if only words of possession were our lifeline as Hominids on this planet.  Truly fascinating stuff.

Anyways, that’s all for now.

DISCLAIMER: Clearly this is particular to my experience and I don’t mean everybody. But I’m in the heat of the moment and I want to generalize. Besides, if majority rules…

I am officially disappointed in everyone. People really suck, and no, I’m not jaded. People just never make sense. I’m so angry about this, because I see the logic in each situation. I am a reasonable person. I have a good grasp on reality. When I screw up, I’ll say so; and when people screw up, I’ll say that too. And when people just fail, it continues to disappoint me and makes me realize more and more how much people… well… suck.

I feel like I’m saying, “Hey look over here, I’m awesome. Sometimes a little goofy… but overall awesome, wanna go out??” And everyone who is single is like “Hmmmmm. Nah, not right now…” or “Umm, I’d rather settle.” I mean, really? You’re gonna settle? I’m giving you the choice of a big juicy steak (or whatever your favorite meal is) or just a pickle and in your dumbassery you say “Umm, I’ll take the pickle.” REALLY? Ol’ settling ass!! Anyway, now that I’ve told you how people suck, how about I paint a completely hypothetical picture for you?

Tell ‘em Why You Mad
So… boy likes girl when she is not ready, and when girl wants boy, boy says ‘I’m not ready.’ Hmmm, is this a game? Did I forget to bring my mitt to this boring game of toss the interest? I mean, clearly people like to play games.
Why would you try your hardest to convince someone to be with you, when they have just told you they were not ready? Maybe they are ‘damaged’ from their previous relationship? Maybe they’ll tell you that they need some time. Maybe when the time comes, you’re like “Well, no I don’t want to try…” Hold up. Okay, you wanted to try when the person wasn’t trying; and now that they are trying, you don’t want to try? You = stupid, dumdum, goofy ass, just overall incompetent. Yes that is you, and yes, you fail at life.

I honestly believe that you can’t be nice to people and you can’t make anything easy for them BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID!!!!! I’ve gotten so much farther being a bitch, rather than being the fun-loving, caring, awesomesity that is me. (Not conceited, just giving myself some props). Even still, the most annoying part of this completely hypothetical situation is that a small part of me was questioning, “Do I really want to date this person? Do I really want to try?” He is awesome, but now he has totally proven that he is just part of the goofy-ass herd that is walking away from the water. Really? WOW! I mean, I can only do so much. I’ve basically prepared this great meal, filled up your fork, placed it in your mouth and your stupid confused insecure ass won’t chew!! I officially dislike you strongly. Basically, I’m off you. I’m off every damn thing!! Excuse my language.

So this situation leads me to the place where I am now, confused. I’m just not gonna try; ‘cause when you don’t try, you don’t get hurt or disappointed. I mean, I went a whole year not trying and I had a blast! Now I’m trying and it is lame, I mean really lame.

Relationships are supposed to be fun, but this sucks. What sucks even more is that I seem to connect better with guys who are IN RELATIONSHIPS. Really? It’s like, “Hey! I’m awesome and you’re awesome and…. oooh wait, you have a girlfriend. Oooh and you’ve been dating for 2 yrs. Oooh and your moving in together in August. How flipping lovely! (Damn you and your happy ass girlfriend! I hate you.)

I’ve tried to analyze this conundrum I seem to have found myself in, done some soul searching, talked to friends and these guys in relationships and wonder… is it me?? Am I doing something wrong? Is there something I am not realizing that I need to change?? The response is always the same, “Oooh just wait, when the time is right it will happen” or “You’re awesome and if people don’t realize this, then they are stupid.” I hate that! I love you, friends, but stop telling me how great I am and how everyone else is stupid. I mean, are people really that stupid? Am I really that great that I’m still single? I’m not in a super rush to be “in a relationship”; I just want to hang out with ONE PERSON who make sense.

I mean COME ON!! I’m just so fed up with everyone. I have officially decided not to try. I am going to just go to school, work, and play and if anyone can keep up, I’ll rock their world! Until then I’ll be in my own.

I actually enjoy taking a pretty girl out for a night on the town and, if I got it like that, picking the tab up (just make sure if we decide to go Dutch, you can carry yourself); nevertheless, I don’t really want to take you out every time, or think of ways to spend nice courtly evenings with you. I want to call you up on those lazy Thursday/Friday afternoons when I don’t feel like going out and tell you to come over to my place to just sit and do nothing.

But I can’t do that. Can I? No, because your won’t let me, not because you think I’m just trying to get into your pants, but because you want to be courted longer before we get on that level. I got a problem with that. I’m not gonna court you just because you feel you should be courted. Women always talk about how they don’t wanna be treated like objects or property but then hold out on you and make you wait for the good part in the relationship like they’re auctioning themselves off, looking to maximize the final bid. It’s pure nonsense.

What’s the “Good Part” you might ask?

“The good part” of a relationship is when both parties are comfortable enough around each other to be themselves just about as wholly and completely as they can. When he doesn’t have to make sure his house/apt is spotless before she comes over, when she doesn’t have to dress sexy all the time, when he doesn’t have to close the door when he “drops anchor”, when she can crawl into bed w/ her period panties. Okay, maybe that’s a bit of a hyperbole but it’s exaggerated to illustrate my point. Women shouldn’t “hold out” at the early stages of a relationship just for shits and giggles.

It’s entirely possible to skip to the good part, or simply arrive at the good part without giving too much of yourself to the guy. It’s plain and simple. If you like a guy, and the guy likes you…then like him and let him know that you like him too without making him bid on you. I’m perfectly fine with dating a girl who isn’t sure how much she likes me so I can show her my personality, sense of humour, motivations, etc. But I’m not cool w/ dating a girl who’s already sold on me but is keeping crap from progressing because she’s “old fashioned”. Not cool.

Speak…