Transitions in Texture

“Don’t let nobody peep yo naps.”

During Black History month in the 7^th grade (late 80’s/early 90s), having written previously about Sojourner Truth and Harriet Tubman, and Dr. MLK, himself, I ventured into new territory. I constructed this great three sided poster filled with pasted on pictures, text written in bold colored marker, and, of course, artistic puff paint, exalting the first FEMALE (black or white) self-made millionaire, Madam C.J. Walker. She, being the premier entrepreneur that defined the modern day black hair care industry and standards of “straightened” beauty. Read more

The Gentleman’s Playlist

“F#@k what you heard!”

Often asked what i’m listening to when not performing or all too eager to share when listening, I, The Gentleman, have compiled a list of tracks that I hope you (all) have heard or will go find. Read more

Slapping Miss Daisy

Gee whiz, Beave. How can i best backslap the rest of your people and slightly exclude you?! Maybe if i say “no offense”.

Growing up I remember using the huge box of crayons with the names you knew someone was overpaid to create (we’re looking at you “orange-yellow”). In that box, the one that always pissed me off was “Flesh”. Especially since my flesh wasn’t “flesh” colored. What were they trying to say? How self-centered do you have to be not to realize the ramifications of labeling one hue “flesh”; dangerous not to just yourself, but your company? Do you not consider how you may be inadvertently offending… oh… say… everyone else? Go find this crayon… if you are around that color, this sermon is for you. Why the “flesh” colored people? Because they are the main perpetrators of the non-compliment. I’m going to use the most recent example in my life but please recognize that “…this type of sh*t happens ev-ery-day!” Read more

The Joke’s On You!

In a time where villains just aren’t respected anymore, something last week arose from the dust. Something incredibly sinister, something so vile, that you just had to respect it. There will never be another Jack Napier (if that’s even his name) projected on your screen again? Why? Because Heath Ledger nailed the role…on his first try. I mean it takes alot to outwit Jack Nicholson. And let’s give credit where credit is due. Nicholson nailed the Joker role in the first batman movie, but Ledger, pretty much took the gold in The Dark Knight. Don’t expect any future movies featuring the Joker because after you watch Heath’s stellar performance, you’ll never wanna see the intelligent D.C. comic book jester ever again. Read more

My Problem w/ Interracial Dating

I have a problem w/ interracial dating, but it’s not for the reasons you think. I’m gonna just jump right into this so buckle up sistas. I’m a 26 yr old black man with two degrees and a well-paying job. No, I’m not bragging, but this will become relevant later. I’m not against interracial relationships, I just have problems with what seems to be a growing percentage of them….and it’s you boo.

Yes, black woman, it’s you. I know that statistically I’m an anomaly. But more and more of my twenty-something year old female friends are growing tired of there “Not being enough good men” around. In their growing frustration, and in their ever-growing wisdom, they come up with the grandaddy of all resolutions, “I’m gonna date outside my race!“. I personally don’t see the problem w/ expanding your horizons and opening up your options, but far too often what this really means is “I’m gonna find a white guy, cuz brotha’s is f$%kin’ up!”. Why are these women acting like they’re 35? Seriously?

My friend, let’s call her “Karen”, is a prime example. After talking to Karen and asking her why she sees that as a solution, she informs me that

“All my previous relationships have turned out horrible, and statistically, black men lead white men in domestic abuse by [insert high number]%. White men just care and treat us sistas better. If black men can’t treat me right and commit, then I’m going to jump ship. Black men mess w/ white girls all the time, why shouldn’t I?”

Now the reason this pisses me off is that what this does is that it subconsciously puts the white man above a black man, and in their mind, “better”. Better for them, better in bed, better for marriage, just better. More importantly, it means that when they pass by me and a white man, they will chose him because he is “statistically better” than myself. What the hell did I do? I don’t care what the numbers say or the statistics. I’m me. But not to make it all about me, this is also dangerous for the woman.

This is because she’s setting herself up for failure, disguised as success. No doubt that dating a white man will be a very different experience, but in that experience, the woman already comes into the relationship with a predisposition to label this new relationship that is different, as better. This is amplified if the couple has a good run. All of a sudden, her hunch is verified and she’s off running spreading the word to all her girlfriends that she’s found the Dead Sea Scrolls. In actuality, he’s just indulging in a chocolate fantasy. Okay, lemme not be bitter. Whether he likes her for her or for her sweet chocolate lovin’, what she’s done is possibly overlooked the very flaws that have gotten her rejected from black men in the first place.

Back to Karen. Karen started dating a white man about a week after she made her declaration and they were together for a while. She swears that it’s because white men treat sistas better, but what she doesn’t understand is that Karen has some issues. Karen is crazy. More specifically, she’s a hyper-empowered overly independent, afro-chick. We all know what I mean by that. Karen is the kind of person that will yell at a man for holding the door open for her cuz “I don’t need to be dominated as the weaker gender by the likes of you“ . What’s sad, is that’s an actual quote. Black men don’t wanna pick fights for no reason every 2-3 seconds, and I highly doubt any man does. So Karen’s biggest turn off is her paranoia of becoming submissive (or compromising). She overlooked her flaw because she just figured it had to be that black dudes don’t know how to treat a woman, and white dudes do (consciously or subconsciously).

Ladies, if you’re gonna date a white man, please…please date a man…who happens to be white. Don’t do it cuz you wanna get your groove back, or because you’re “done” w/ brothas. I love you all too much to see ya’ll sell yourselves short by not addressing your problems. As a comedian once said “If you’re 35 talkin bout ‘Men ain’t sh$#!’, then it’s you boo.” Fix yourself and stop being so jaded. Karen got dumped by the dude after he wrecked shop all up in that chocolate. I’m not saying that this is gonna happen, I’m just saying that’s what happened to Karen. Because Karen is crazy.

Discuss…

You Needa Make More Money Than Me

Call me ole’ fashion but. . . I’d rather that you’d make more money. Does that make me a bad person? Should I not say this out loud? This is ideally in the most ideal sense. You, the man, make more money so I, the woman, won’t have to feel obligated to work [so hard or more than four days out of the week]. But considering that in a few short years, I will be making a nice chunk of change, this really limits my options. And is this wrong? In the practical sense, hell-to-the-yeah. Read more

Reclaiming the Drizzle Dizl…

“Yes, we can?”

So… I watched Black In America: Reclaiming The Dream . Ye-e-a-h… so much I could say, but I will hold back. I will say they asked the pseudo-tough questions… but that’s about it. As well, I think my self-esteem was tested by all the statistics they kept lobbing before each commercial break letting you know just how far back Black America is versus … well… the usual suspects. Also, my first reaction to the airing was “wasn’t this originally slated for February?” Read more

The Fate of Black Love - Part I

The Fate of Black Love? Maybe.

If TV is supposed to be a reflection of our times, then based on music videos and popular reality shows like “Flavor of Love”, we are really in trouble.

The state of the black community is a topic that has been plaguing its people for years. The origin of the black family starts with the black man and woman. Before there can be children to produce and raise in a conducive environment, there first must be a man and woman willing to take the road toward building a life together. Read more

The Globalization of Du-Rags

“You never thought that ‘Hip-Hop’ would take it this far!”

The other day I was minding my own business shopping for some music (”in the heart of the city” of course), when I noticed this kid looking extra lost. Not my kid, not my problem. I’m sure there was a guardian somewhere in the vicinity. I thought, ‘Hope somebody knows you’re here, kid’ then rolled on about my business. Besides, I noticed him just like I notice everybody. Why? Read more

Transitions of Progress

I was in the commons (the park) downtown the other night with my homegirl just talking. Clearly, this was her idea. I don’t find chillin’ in a park downtown at night to be the wisest nor safest place to chat but i figured she’d get uncomfortable soon and we’d be on our way. So as the random winos and crazies who take residence in the vicinity made cameos in our causerie, she and I observed the subtleties of the subdued nightlife. I was sharing a theory on relationships when the sight of two dudes on Segways made me trail off mid-sentence. Why? ‘Cause i’d simply never seen Segways in real life, simple as that. They looked convenient and fun, in that way that life sometimes imitates art (or at least the art of commercials). I thought “Hmph, cool, but is that really necessary?” Read more

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