My Beef with Breakfast

I hate breakfast. I hate making breakfast. I’d rather be asleep. The only reason I eat breakfast is because I love food. But what I don’t love is being forced to believe that eating breakfast will make me a more efficient and healthy person. It is 7:51AM right now as I’m writing this and I have not eaten breakfast nor do I intend to.

What has Breakfast done for you lately? The best thing to come out of 3031+ years of Breakfast was Orange Juice. Orange Juice and those teeny sausages, but they’re not even that great. I loathe making pancakes. They are flat, round, fluffy wastes of my damn time.

Everyone always says “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day”. If that is true, then how is it that most people skip breakfast and still are productive, healthy, and efficient?  As a matter of fact, I’m more than positive if you ask 10 people “If you have to cut out one meal in the day, what would it be?” I’m sure that at least 9 people will say “breakfast”. That’s actually a good survey to conduct. Let me check, brb.

Ok, I asked 10 people on the way to the bank. Here’s what happened. 8 said Breakfast, one said Lunch (sorry for you), and 1 said Brunch (really, they said Brunch).

Think about it, breakfast is the least mouthwatering meal you can have. Lunch can be amazing, Dinner could be better than sex, but Breakfast? Even if you do have a spectacular breakfast, then you become sluggish and don’t feel like doing a damn thing. Is that any way to start off your day?

I think Breakfast has a low self-esteem and is overcompensating by shoving how “important” he thinks he is down everyone’s throat…literally. Breakfast sux.

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