Riff Raff – Nintendo Freestyle: 1000% Win

Just as I was about to crawl into bed and wake up tomorrow only to begin another souless week at work, I decided to delay the inevitable and jump on Youtube. I’m not even sure how I stumbled up on this, but I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen so much heavily-concentrated win in my life. I might be late, but within the last 20 minutes, this song/video has become an important part of my life. A bullet to the dome couldn’t stop the endless loop of this song from my mindgrapes.

I think what’s the most fascinating about this solar hot mess, is that I keep asking myself, “Why the hell the face of his watch on the side of his arm? His wristband is too loose. He should fix that. And then the song just ends….” That’s the kinda stuff I concentrate on. That I REALLY hope that this dude’s from Houston, or at least TX. Cuz I’d be proud. I’m not really sure what that says about me. No matter, I gotta “walk, befo’ I crawl”.

I was gonna stop there, bout I’m foreal confused. Is he leaving the LONGEST voicemail or what! Damn.

Afrothought Salutes: Megatron

Hey, who said they have to be real?

Don’t be fooled by the charming exterior, this guy’s a badass if I’ve ever seen one. Megatron, the leader of the Deceptions and the main antagonist of almost every incarnation of the Transformers canon. What set this supervillain apart from just about every single villain in cartoon history is how unsettling it is that a cartoon villian can be so real and envoke the same kind of ruthlessness seen in live-action R rated movies. He wasn’t insane, he wasn’t misunderstood. He was smart, violent and very much focused on f***ing anyone up that screwed w/ him. If transformers bled, then Megatron would be floating in a river of it. Read more

Afrothought Salutes: Phill Wade

The Make-up Myth: The Prophecy

Recently a female friend asked us:

“Why do guys always approach her when she’s not looking so hot, but when she’s all dolled up and on point, none of the fine guys step to her, only the C-team.”

Here’s what The Prophet had to say about it:

Here’s the deal. The reason why guys aren’t really approaching you when you are looking your best isn’t because of what your makeup is saying about you or that we are selectively sniping our targets. The reason is that dudes these days are just timid and lazy. Yep. You ladies were right. We are just reluctant to talk to you for fear of rejection.

You see, guys have extremely fragile egos. Rejection is something that most guys need to be able to deal with and a key part of life but something that only a very small percentage of guys are capable of handling without batting an eye. The problem is that the overwhelming majority of guys who have the balls to come up to you when you are looking your best are card-carrying members of the C-team. These are the guys I believe that The Genius was talking about as being “That Dude“.  So what about the other guys? The guys belonging to the A-team, hell even the B-team? Why aren’t they talking to you? The answer is simple:  Hoes.

First of all, let me start off by saying that I do not run around calling women bitches and hoes. My mother is a woman and so are my sisters, best friends, and family members. Teachers, religious mentors, neighbors, girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, and mail-lady. But everyone needs to stop fronting and realize that hoes do exist. All women are not bitches or hoes, we’re talking 20-25% tops. And it’s this segment that messes everything up for all you quality women out there who got it going on both physically and mentally. This is because the hoes are actually the ones doing the sniping. They feed on all the men from the A-team, B-team, and C-team in that very order and as wonderful as I think the male race is, we are lazy as hell.

Conditioning is the reason we are not talking to you. Most of your good-looking male friends are perfectly capable of getting  “attention” from pretty women without even doing anything. It may not be as easy or as often as it is for even the averagest looking woman, but give it some time, and they will come.

Let’s recap. Men these days are confronted with a dilemma, one that we chose the easiest course of action to solve. On one hand, we are faced with possible rejection from women who know that they look good and know their own worth. On the other hand, we are also well aware that if we just chill for long enough, hoes will make their presence known and we will get “candy” from them. Because guys are lazy, we choose the hoes option because it’s easier and still keeps our egos in tact. I personally believe this is the reason that men are typically attracted to crazy ass women. Sorry ladies, but the truth is just as brutal as you thought. Also, I am very aware that I just used the word “averagest” in the last paragraph. I do not regret that at all. I was just too lazy to change it.

See, told you.

What do you think? Let us know.

The Make-up Myth: The Introduction

The Gentleman’s Thoughts

The Genius’ Thoughts

Top 6 Reasons I’m Draked Out

I’ll admit it, I was like everyone else. For the last two years or so, we’ve all been impatiently waiting for the debut album of Mr. Aubrey Drake Graham, our favorite paraplegic basketball player. Okay, who am I kidding? I’ll be flat out honest. I’ve been living under a rock for the passed two years (clearly noted by my lack of recent contributions on this site), so I was waiting for this album for only a few months. Although I hopped on the “Drake-train” late, I enjoyed listening to his music. I paid more attention to the lack of violent content and smooth delivery than his high pitched, whiny-ass voice or the fact that an artist without a debut album can have about 532 songs in constant rotation; so naturally, when “Thank me Later” came out, I grabbed myself a copy. After carefully listening to the album front to back, I realized…I’m Draked Out. Read more

Top 10 Words that Should be Banned From English

I’m not doing this for fun. I’m doing this for my children. I’m doing this for the good of humanity. And while I will get an immense amount of personal gratification in doing this, this is a selfless act. This is something that I’ve been meaning to do for a long time, but honestly I haven’t been the best at doing things when I’m supposed to. Call me a bit of a pessimist but I feel that the fate of the American people is going straight to hell. Read more

I Don’t Like Your Girlfriend, So What?

Typically, I’m pretty honest and straightforward with my friends when they ask me questions involving my opinion. I mean, they’re my friends and they’re asking to hear my thoughts, so why not give it to them? Recently, a buddy of mine asked me what I thought about his girlfriend.  In this particular relationship, I personally don’t believe that my friend and his girlfriend are a good match for each other. They fight, they argue,  and they spend more time “working” on their relationship than actually having one.  Despite all of these things, I believe that on a personal level, that the two of them are holding each other back and would be happier with other people.

Now admittedly, I’m generally a tough critic when it comes my opinion of my friends’ partners, but my friend wasn’t asking me about my opinion of the status of his relationship. He was asking me about what I thought of his girlfriend on personal level. This question for me is easy. I either like someone, can’t stand them, or don’t like them.

So without much hesitation, I told my friend I didn’t like her. At first, he didn’t respond. He just sat there with a puzzled look on his face and I could tell what he was thinking. He opened his mouth and said,

“How do you NOT like her but you talk to her all the time and smile when you see her? That’s fake man? Why don’t you like her!?”

I could tell that he was actually hurt by the lack of kinship between me and his girlfriend, so I reassured him that his girlfriend didn’t do anything to me at all, and just because I didn’t like her, doesn’t mean I hate her.  Nevertheless, over the next few months, my friend constantly tried to get me to “give her a chance” and setup awkward situations that put me and her together in the same place or room alone to try to promote a bond between the two of us. Such forceful and artificial fellowship is actually a turnoff and is more likely to generate a more negative response than there already is. And still, I fail to understand why we simply cannot “not be friends”.

As far as “acting fake” goes, I don’t believe that’s true. When you say that you don’t like someone, it’s one of those statements that doesn’t really sound good no matter how you phrase it. In actuality, it is not as bad as it sounds. I can still think someone is a good person, but if I have no draw to them, then there is no chemistry or connection. If that is true, then I don’t like them. I don’t hate them, I’m just not their biggest fan. I’m indifferent.

I don’t understand why people feel the need to have their boyfriend/girlfriend and their friends, be friends. I personally prefer to keep them separate.  I’d prefer if my girlfriend didn’t hang out with my friends without me being there. I personally believe that it’s easier to keep those two worlds separated and that things get messy when the two worlds collide. But I understand how many people wouldn’t mind that their friends and their partner get along, but is it a problem if they don’t?

I have a friend. He has a girlfriend. Why should he think that just because I see his girlfriend often and share space with her minutes at a time, that we have to be friends?

Maybe I’m just unfriendly. Or maybe she sucks. I dunno.

Discuss…

My Beef with Breakfast

I hate breakfast. I hate making breakfast. I’d rather be asleep. The only reason I eat breakfast is because I love food. But what I don’t love is being forced to believe that eating breakfast will make me a more efficient and healthy person. It is 7:51AM right now as I’m writing this and I have not eaten breakfast nor do I intend to.

What has Breakfast done for you lately? The best thing to come out of 3031+ years of Breakfast was Orange Juice. Orange Juice and those teeny sausages, but they’re not even that great. I loathe making pancakes. They are flat, round, fluffy wastes of my damn time. Read more

You Call Too D@mn Much!

So every once in a while, it becomes even more painfully obvious that there’s certain instances where you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. Read more

Colin Powell endorses Obama, breaks ranks with the GOP

WASHINGTON — In 1996, the political world was buzzing about the intentions of a possible presidential contender — one who could make history. In the end, Colin L. Powell, four-star American icon, proclaimed that he would not run after all, disappointing millions of supporters but generating sighs of relief at the Clinton White House. Read more

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